Shocked!

A couple of days ago, a reader left a comment asking whether I

"... really talk in [my] characteristically euphemistic way when [I'm] with friends, or is it purely for the benefit of the delicate flowers that are [my] faithful blog readers?"

The truth of the matter is that I myself have a nervous disposition, so talking euphemistically is as much for my benefit as anyone else :-).

Given that I'm easily shocked, imagine my distress yesterday when when we go to visit some friends, and are confronted by the mobile billboard shown in the photo on the right. That bill board is openly advertising heterosexual infidelity! Back in 2005, I mentioned the web site that the bill board is promoting, so its been around for a few years now. None the less, surely this is sign of the lax morality which is slowly infiltrating our society at all levels :-(. The fact that it doesn't seem to cater for gay men is little consolation!

Hot Guy!

Japanese swimwear

I do like these very brief Japanese speedos/asics but have never been able to buy one. Would you wear one?















This guy looks so hot in his and I love the tanlines.

mmmm - nice cock

Bedroom Closet

I've just added another new blog Bedroom Closet. I've been reading it for a while now so check it out. Its subtitled "Conversations and Observations from a newlywed sex life". I'm enjoying it.

Two hot guys making out

tremendimouse

Have been chatting online this morning with tremendimouse who reads my blog. Check out his photos below and his blog. He's a really nice guy.







He's into smooth, hairless bodies; all-over tans; sailing; hiking; running shirtless (any weather; any temperature); cycling; the great outdoors under canvas; being naked; minimal underwear and swimwear; massage (giving and getting); photography; common courtesy and good manners; cold water therapy, dousing and cold water swimming [by cold he means anything less than 10C]; pain endurance (nipple). He's said me that:

if you are gonna write about this "crazy southerner" that you chatted with - ask if anyone wants to join me for a run or a very cold bath or swim sometime and to send comments to me too

His email is tremendimouse@hotmail.com and his Youtube page is here. He's got some vids on there showing him putting some pins through his nipple.

Blogroll

I've started to spring clean by blogroll and am deleting any blogs which have disappeared or are no longer being updated. From time to time I'm going to be including new blogs I've come across. Let me know if you want to me consider any - I'm open to suggestions.

My first new blog is Happyendingz - confessions of an erotic masseuse. CJ is an Erotic Massage Therapist and she says:

I work in a massage parlor. Ever drive by one of those places with a red neon sign that says "SPA" and wonder what goes on behind those blackened windows? Well I'm gonna tell ya my massage parlor secrets! I'll teach you what a "Happy Ending" is and all the little tricks I use to give one. So just lay back, relax, and let me do my job... And remember - I work for tips.

Check it out.

Hot n hard

Attitudes of straight Asian guys to homosexuality

"A colleague told me today that I'm quite Metrosexual," says boyfriend T to me over dinner recently.

"Well he's kind of right, isn't he," I giggle, "apart from one important detail!"

"Yes, but I'm never going to come out, so I don't like people getting too close to the truth :-(."

"Do you really think he'd mind if you told him that you're gay?"

"I think he'd tell me to Fuck Off," replies boyfriend T, looking quite upset.

"You always say that, but I simply don't believe that everyone who you know is as completely homophobic as you think. Firstly, when a guy is confident about being straight, he really doesn't care if other guys are gay."

Boyfriend T shrugs, not sure whether to believe me or not.

"But more importantly," I continue, "whoever you're talking to about being gay, if you're 100% confident about your sexuality then you're likely to get a good reaction. It's when you're clearly unhappy about it and you tell someone, in that case the reaction might be 'Fuck Off'. But if your attitude is more like 'being gay is great, and by being my friend you can share in my fabulous lifestyle', then that kind of confidence is infectious :-)."

Although I don't mention it in the conversation, a couple of years ago I actually did a post about this topic, which I called The confidence mirror.

"But like me, this colleague is Asian," answers boyfriend T finally, after a short pause, "and he's straight too. He might not react much if I told him, but underneath I know what he'd be thinking and he'd definitely want to run away :-(. Worse, I'm sure he'd tell everyone, and then everyone would dislike me :-((."

It's clear that I'm not going to get anywhere with this discussion so I drop the topic and we start talking about what we're going to do the following weekend.

Later I start thinking about what boyfriend T said, and I realise that although I've met a lot of gay Asian guys, I have no experience in discussing gay life with straight Asians. So I'm wondering whether boyfriend T is right about the reaction that he's likely to get from other Asian guys? Presumably though, guys from different countries might react differently, so perhaps straight Thai guys would have a different attitude to straight Japanese guys? And what about the reaction of straight Indian guys, straight Korean guys, straight Chinese guys, straight Malaysian guys, ...

If any readers can educate me on this subject then I'd be very grateful :-).

Hot Guy

Video: How to shave your pubes, chest etc.

Body shaving is one of those things that a lot of people do, but few really talk about. Athletes like swimmers, bodybuilders and triathletes do it for competitive reasons. The rest of mankind does it for aesthetic reasons. It has long been popular among gay men and has made its mark among straight guys trying to emulate the models and actors they see splashed on magazine covers or on screen, almost all who are sans body hair.

Gillette has come out with a series of online animated videos that tries to convince guys to use its products when they are manscaping. They even have one that discusses how best to shave your genital area, using all sorts of cute code words (”trimming the bush to make the tree look taller”).

In the videos I watched of the series, “she” or “her” was used often enough to assure straight guys that it is totally 100% hetero to body shave; typical — we can’t have anyone think our product is gay.

So my questions to you are:

–Do you body shave, and if so, what parts?
–Do prefer another guy’s chest to be hairy or smooth?

I shave the hair around my nipples, trim my pubes and shave my cock and balls.

Nice Ass

Hot cock!

Fully Deepthroat shooting cum down throat

Guy facefucked rough and deepthroat shooting his load directly down throat making her almost puke

Are there any societies where homosexuality is predominant?

In the Sambia tribe, New Guinea, as early as age 7, young boys are expected to “suck the penis of a mature boy every night and swallow the sperm”. Boys who refuse are forever treated as children within the context of their community, because “without regular ingestion of male seed, the Sambia believe, boys will never grow up into strong, mature men.” At the age of 15, the boys are considered mature enough to provide their own genitals for the younger boys to felicitate. Performing fellatio on a younger boy is strictly forbidden; as it is considered stealing his manhood because it results in a loss of semen from the growing boy. As soon as the boys marry, they cease to engage in homosexual contact, but often times, since they are so estranged from female sexuality and coitus, they ask their new brides to wear a bag over her head and fellate them on their wedding night. Interestingly, according to Loving Boys Vol. 1, “After 10 to 15 years of exclusive homosexual activity carried on by 100 % of the Sambia population, the incidence of adult homosexual orientation is only 5 % – exactly the same as in Western society.”

An offer of breakfast

"Actually, a Thai ladyboy once offered to buy me breakfast!" says C, taking us all by surprise.

It's Saturday night, and myself and boyfriend T have come out for dinner with lapsed blogger HBH and his boyfriend who's called C. I'd started talking about our recent holiday in Thailand, and it turned out that C had lived in Thailand for 6 months when he was younger.

"How come?" I ask, mildly amused by the idea.

"It was all rather odd!" says C, "because it was 7am in the morning and I was heading home after a long night out, and all of a sudden there was this ladyboy running down the road after me. He/she had a fistful of money in his hand, and he was shouting 'Look, I make all this money last night, I buy you breakfast'!"

"Wow," I reply, "he must have fancied you! Was he cute?"

"I wasn't interested," answers C, "I was just so tired that all I wanted to do was to fall asleep in my own bed!"

"Awww, don't you think that it would have been interesting?" I reply sounding disappointed, "I mean, if he'd bought you breakfast, do you think he'd expect that he'd be entitled to get to know you a bit better?"

"Maybe," says C, "that actually didn't occur to me. But I also had concerns about how he'd earned that money. I mean, if he was earning a lot of money at night then he must have been a sex-worker of some sort, wouldn't you think? So would you be happy being bought things with prostitution money?"

"Well if he was a ladyboy, I wouldn't be interested," I reply, "I'm into guys, not ladys and not boys either!"

"But what if it had been a cute guy who'd earned all that money by selling his body, offering to buy you breakfast ... ?"

"Well there's not a problem if he'd earned all that money legally, is there?" I answer, "Obviously if things progress, then one would need to play extra safe, given that one doesn't know where he's been!"

The conversation moves on, but later I start wondering whether C had a point. If one accepts things bought with prostitution money, is one implicitly participating and encouraging it? If any readers have any views on this, please let me know :-).

Hot Guy!

'Noisy sex' woman spared prison

After reading this I'm pleased Kim and I live in a detached house!

Email from a gay guy with trust issues in his relationship

Last week, a reader sent me the following email:

Dear GB,

I've been with an Asian guy for about 4 months. That's time we first met rather than becoming "officially" boyfriends. But from time to time he'll have a bit of a crisis because he can't get to trust me. We've talked about it a few times but it always seems to come around.

We had an almost break up last week and another serious chat at the end of the week. He was using my computer and came across my messenger logs and decided to read them. In there there are some early conversations when I told some friends I wasn't sure about the whole thing so he just assumed I just didn't like him and brought back all his insecurities, mistrust and the jealousy that comes with it.

This time he's asked for some specifics that he wants me to do.

The first one is that I remove all my pictures from any profile I may have in any dating website. I already updated my status a long time ago and make it clear I'm not looking for any fun and just interested in models for my photography or friends. I also removed any pics where I may have a top off or be in swimwear or similar.

He now wants me to take off the rest of the pics. As such I am not completely against it. I mostly want to use it just to find models really and my pic is not completely necessary for that. But although he didn't as such say, he wouldn't like me to actually contact anyone either, so basically chances of someone finding the profile, clicking on a picture-less one and volunteering as model are highly remote. So it's pretty much useless for that. Equally it also means I couldn't make any new friends. All in return for not objecting to me continuing with my male photography.

The second thing is about travelling. He has limited holidays, while I have quite a lot more. He uses most of his by visiting his parents so there is little left where we could go together. We're going on a couple of one week holidays but that still leaves me with 5 weeks more of holidays.

So, unless I can find an existing friend to travel with, I would have to travel on my own. Last year it was almost impossible to find anyone and only last minute for one week.

He wants me to go on any holidays either with a friend or nobody else, including meeting any friends I may have in any of the places but haven't met before (existing or new). For me it would me much easier if I could meet a friend in some of the places so they can show me around, give me some local advice etc. I'm not talking about taking them to my bed, I have no intention of doing that. I'm talking pure friends. Travelling to some places is not quite easy, especially where they speak little English. In the past I've always met someone locally and that's made all the difference for me.

To be honest, if I really wanted to sleep with someone else, and I don't, I could do it here with anyone using a faceless profile, the same on the holidays. Or I could just go to a gay place and meet someone there. So really it serves no purpose other than make my holiday worse as I can't meet a friend. He agrees with that but he wants to remove any situations where I could be tempted.

To me besides these two things there is also an underlying thing that he's never really trusted me and I can only imagine than even if I agreed now it would be something different later and this may have no end. And I also worried at some point I would also feel frustrated and unhappy with restrictions I consider unfair and unnecessary, a relationship cannot survive if there is no trust!

My friends think he's being unrealistic and needs to mature while apparently his friends completely agree with him. So it could be everyone is just supporting his friend and saying what they want to hear. So I thought why not ask someone who isn't a friend of either and has been in a Western+Asian relationship.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

It's true that I'm in a Western+Asian relationship, because boyfriend T is Asian. But although a few values seem to be common between Asian guys from different countries, I think that there are also many differences, so just because I've also got an Asian boyfriend doesn't necessarily give me any useful insight here. In particular, I don't think boyfriend T and myself have any trust issues, even though he knows that I'm not necessarily monogamous. (... and before anyone leaves a comment, YES, I'm happy for him to be 'not necessarily monogamous' too!)

In fact, the reader's boyfriend reminds me a bit of a guy I know who's particularly hung-up about finding a guy for a monogamous relationship. In the case of this guy, his attitude stems from the fact that while he was growing up his father slept around with many women, and the guy saw what a terrible effect his father's behaviour had on his mother. So one thing that the reader might do is try to understand his boyfriend more, and try and find out if there's anything in the boyfriend's past that causes him to be so distrustful.

Any relationship involves compromise. Given that the reader's boyfriend wants to agree rules which restrict what the reader can do, I'm wondering what the boyfriend is offering in return? One thing that occurs to me is that is the boyfriend could agree to spend less time with his family, which would help solve the reader's holiday problem a bit. After all, if the boyfriend wants this young relationship to develop into a serious long term one, then the reader should eventually become more important to him that his family. I'd say that a guy isn't serious about a relationship if he says "if you want me to be my boyfriend then you must do all these things" without being prepared to compromise on other things himself.

All long term readers of this blog will know that I'm not keen on monogamous relationships, and that I think that gay relationships should be constructed in a different way. For any two guys in a relationship I think the important thing is where their hearts lie, and how they treat each other when they're together, rather than what they do with their dicks and their orifices when they're apart! In that context, then of course I think that the reader's boyfriend is being unrealistic, especially because the reader could easily cheat if he wanted to.

However, given that these guys both want a monogamous relationship, one possibility is that there's something in the reader's behaviour that gives his boyfriend reasons to be suspicious about him. In fact I've had other correspondence with the reader that leads me to think that this might be true. Two guys in a relationship certainly don't need to do everything together, or have identical hobbies, but they should know about each other's hobbies and interests. So I think the reader needs to be more open with his boyfriend, and over time that will help build trust. As an example of this, in my case I decided early last year that I'd have to tell any new boyfriend that I'm a blogger, so I divulged that information to boyfriend T after I'd known him for a few months. Although I pretty sure that he's not one of my readers, if I hadn't told him then he'd have good cause to wonder why I spend so much time online!

Ultimately though, if these two guys can't agree a better deal, then it might well be best for them to split up. The reader clearly knows this, because he says that he may end up feeling frustrated and unhappy with the restrictions, and that in itself could end up killing the relationship. If the reader wants to try and save the relationship, then I think he needs to work especially hard to gain his boyfriend's trust and make him feel comfortable, because when two guys love each other then they should work to help each other over their difficulties. If that happens then the boyfriend should become a lot more comfortable, and happy to relax the proposed restrictions. In my case with boyfriend T, I think that perhaps I'm a bit too attentive, but the good thing about that is that it leaves him in no doubt that I love him and that he's always my top priority :-).

Does anyone else have any thoughts for this reader?

Hot Guy!

Do a lot of Londoners have an inferiority complex?

"I've lived in South Ken for almost twenty years now," said the elderly woman, "although it's quite stressful because there are so many people around. Before that, I lived in Hampstead village, but I think South Ken is better because Hampstead is a bit remote."

"But Hampstead was on the tube twenty years ago," I reply, "so how can you say it's remote?"

"I know," answers the woman, "but it's on the Northern line. So it goes to places like Camden and Tottenham Court Road. They're certainly not the sort of places that I want to go."

I'm with boyfriend T in a smart restaurant, and we've accidently got chatting to one of the diners on the table next to ours. We chat to her for a while, but after ten minutes or so, she and her dining companion pay the bill and leave us on our own.

"That woman was hilarious," I say after she's gone, "saying that South Ken is 'stressful' and that Hampstead is 'remote'!"

"I didn't like her!" replies boyfriend T decisively. "Actually I've noticed that lots of Londoners talk like that :-(. They give unnecessary information when they're describing some pretend hardship or other, but in fact they're just showing off. With her, she lets us know that she's lived in two of the best neighbourhoods in London, but that it's either 'stressful' or 'too remote'. Poor her."

I hadn't expected this response, because I'd just found it amusing listening to the way that the woman described the places that she's lived.

"Do a lot of Londoners really talk like that then?" I ask. I'm not an impartial witness because I sometimes describe myself as a Londoner, so it's interesting to get boyfriend T's perspective.

"Yes! For example, I went to that conference a few months ago, and one of the guys that I got chatting to there said that he was late arriving at the conference because he was having to 'stay in a 5 star hotel while his house was being renovated'. Why didn't he just say 'hotel'! I don't need to know that he can afford to stay in a '5 star hotel'."

"And other people will say things like 'my Mercedes is in the garage at the moment'," continues boyfriend T, "Just saying that their 'car' is being repaired would be sufficient, I don't need to know that they can afford an expensive car."

"I hope I don't do that kind of thing," I say, realising that boyfriend T has a valid point.

"No you don't, not when you're with me anyway!"

"I guess people who say things like that have some kind of inferiority complex," I suggest, "because they're just trying to make themselves sound more wealthy and important."

"Maybe, but if so, why do so many Londoners do it? Is there something in the water? Anyway, I hope that by living in London I don't end up suffering from that affliction!"

I'm not sure whether the way of talking that boyfriend T doesn't like is a trait of Londoners, or if it's used more widely? If any readers have any thoughts on this, it would be interesting to get further perspectives :-).

Good Morning!

This is a great straight fuck

Paddling in the sea

Email from a young gay guy in Serbia

A couple of days ago, a reader sent me the following email:

Dear GB,

I'm seventeen and I'm coming from Serbia. I have a problem.

I'm gay, and as you may know, it is very hard to meet people such as ourselves here, in Serbia, because anyone who COMES OUT gets thrown out of the house, or actually killed. I know some people who were actually killed because they were gay :(.

I have doubts about three people, but I'm not really sure if they are gay. I've been reading your posts lately and I really need a more precise way of recognizing gay men. What should I do? I know I can't talk about that in front of them, and my girl friends couldn't help me too. I don't know if you can guess someone is gay or not just by looking in a picture. I heard that some experienced gay men can do that. If you can help me, please answer. I will send you pictures if you decide to help me.

Thank you in advance,

I had no idea that life in Serbia was so hard for gay people. It's terrible to hear about people being killed for being gay :-(. Serbia recently applied for EU membership, but if it's culturally so backward that homophobia can regularly involve murdering gay guys, then I doubt that the application will succeed.

In terms of working out whether a guy is gay or not by looking at him, I did a post on that subject back in 2008 called How do gay guys recognise each other? As soon as I received the email from this reader, I sent him a link to that post.

I think it is true that some guys look more gay than other guys, but that's a very unreliable way of working out whether someone is gay or not. Also, straight guys who live in big cosmopolitan cities like London and perhaps Belgrade can often acquire metrosexual habits, and that makes it even harder to tell.

On this subject, after myself and boyfriend T went to visit my gorgeous Japanese masseur B and his business partner N for massage, the next time I saw B he told me that he thought that it was possible to guess that boyfriend T was gay. A few days later I told Boyfriend T what B had said, and boyfriend T was horrified because he's still very closeted, and doesn't like the idea that people can work out his sexuality. He insisted that I find out from B what his reasons were for making that statement. The answer that B gave was basically that boyfriend T was very fashionable, with a neat and smart appearance, and way past the age when his family would expect to see him married!

Returning to the problem of this Serbian reader, he obviously wondering whether a few guys that he knows are gay, because he's offering to send me some photographs to look at. However, as I said above, I think that's a very unreliable way of identifying a gay person. A person's cultural background also affects their appearance, so it would be much harder for a non-Serbian person to have a view on a Serb's sexuality. On top of that, even if someone is gay and looks gay, if they're as young as this Serbian reader is then they may not have acknowledged it to themselves yet. And even if they have realised that they're gay, they may not want to do anything about it at the moment.

However, perhaps the most important piece of advice for this young reader is "Don't fall in love with any of your straight friends". There's a danger that these guys that he's wondering about could be in this category. Somewhere in Serbia I'm sure that they'll be lots of nice gay guys that he can fall in love with, so it would be a mistake to ruin any of his friendships, hoping that the friend is gay.

Even though gay life is hard in Serbia, I'm sure that there are still places where gay people meet, especially in Belgrade. I have no idea if it's accurate or not, but a quick google search found a web site called Belgarde and Serbia gay guide. So my suggestion would be that instead of trying to work out whether people that he knows are gay, instead he should try going to such places where perhaps he can make new gay friends :-).

Do anyone else have any thoughts for this young Serbian reader?

Where are you?

Could you do me a favour and leave a comment with the city / country where you're reading this from? Just that, nothing else. I'd find it very interesting, thank you.

Dinner with fellow blogger 'Close Encounters'

"Do you have an iPhone yet, GB?" asks Close Encounters, "if not, I've got something to show you that might make you change your mind!"

I hadn't seen Close Encounters for a couple of months or more, so with my boyfriend T still out of the country, we decided to catch up over a nice meal in a smart restaurant last Saturday night.

"I don't like iPhones because I'm much more efficient when using a proper little keyboard, rather than that touchscreen version that iPhones have," I reply. "And on top of that, I'm allergic to Apple!"

"But look at this :-)," answers Close Encounters, quite undeterred, "it uses GPS and takes the art of hooking up with like minded guys to a completely new level!"

"You don't mean ....," I answer, almost afraid of guessing what I'm about to be shown, "... that it can actually find guys for fun near your current location?"

He starts an iPhone app called Grindr and nods, "Absolutely!!"

Soon, on his iPhone screen there are small pics of twenty or more guys.

"Look, this one is only 275 metres away! Shall we ask him if he wants a threesome?"

"And it works all over the world too," continues Close Encounters, ignoring his last question. "When I was on holiday abroad last month, I turned it on to see if I could find anyone. To my surprise there was another guy in the same town as me, although he wasn't one of the locals. In fact I think we both live in London, because on my return I spotted him again! So does Grindr change your mind?"

"Actually, no!" I answer honestly, "A month ago Boyfriend T started talking about moving in to live with me, and we've now agreed that it's going to happen :-). I really do want to focus on him now, rather than random guys from Grindr or wherever!"

"And how long do you think that'll last for?"

"I don't know, hopefully a very very long time :-). I've always thought that I'd be able to achieve so much more if I didn't waste lots of time cruising!"

"Which is why you need Grindr," answers Close Encounters triumphantly, "because it genuinely makes cruising so much more convenient :-)."

I remain unconvinced, and gradually the conversation drifts onto other subjects.

Even though I've got no plans to buy an iPhone at the moment, I have to admit that Grindr is a very clever idea. So I'd be quite interested to know what any readers who've used Grindr think of it?

Embrace