Ask me a question?

Here's your chance to ask me anything. Anything! Nothing is off limits! Of course, that doesn't mean I'll answer everything. But I'll be sure to provide some sort of witty response in that case.

Angry

I simply can't believe that it's happened again :-(. Three years after Lord Browne resigned as the chief executive of BP for lying about his gay private life, another stupid gay guy ends up resigning for a similar reason. This time it's Liberal Democrat politician David Laws who's resigned, all because he claimed expenses for renting a room in his partner's house. I'm not saying that he was wrong to resign, I'm sure that it's the right decision given that what he did is against the rules. But why did he pretend to himself that he wasn't in a gay relationship with his partner James Lundie? There are enough stupid people in the world! Someone like David Laws, who used to be an investment banker, really should know better. It really makes me ANGRY!

Lunch with a collegue

Last month, a colleague who I don't know sent me an email as follows:

Hi GB,

I went out for a drink after work with P recently, and he told me that you're gay. I'm gay too, but I sometimes find it hard to be myself because my immediate colleagues here on the trading floor all seem so straight. Perhaps we could go out for lunch or drinks sometime? We could share our experiences about being gay in the banking world.

Best wishes,

H

I immediately ask my colleague P about H, and when he tells me that H is a nice guy, I reply to his email offering to go out for lunch with him the following week.

On the day, we end up meeting in the restaurant shortly after midday. We get on well together, and we end up talking about a huge variety of topics. We talk about the bank that we both work for, gay life, our boyfriends of course, as well as many other things.

Towards the end of the meal, I ask him a question that had been on my mind since I got his email.

"So why did you want to meet me for lunch? It's always nice to meet new guys, but it was a bit of a surprise to get your email."

"Do you want the direct answer, the official answer, the simple answer, or ..." replies H with a cheeky glint in his eye.

"Oh I think we'd better have the direct answer!" I say bluntly, "I always prefer the truth :-)."

"Well, there were two reasons actually :-)," he replies. "Firstly it's because I've seen you on the trading floor, and you don't seem to have any problem being gay and interacting with all your straight colleagues, so I thought that it would be interesting to meet you."

"Sure, and it's been interesting to meet you too :-)."

"And secondly," he continues, looking me directly in the eye now, "I think you're a very attractive guy."

I start smiling now, but inside I'm completely taken aback by what he's just said.

"Wow, thanks for the compliment :-)," I answer, trying not to disclose my surprise, "but I bet you say that to all the boys!"

Is this guy trying to chat me up? We continue talking, and when its time to get the bill, he insists on paying. We walk back to the bank together, and when it's time to say goodbye, he squeezes my arm slightly in a very friendly way.

"Let's see each other again, perhaps for drinks after work or something :-)," he says, again looking me directly in the eye.

"Um, yes sure :-)," I answer, "it's been fun!"

Walking back to my desk however, I can't help thinking that if we do meet up for a drink after work, I'll need to be careful. Judging from his behaviour, he's definitely the kind of guy that likes to get a girl drunk so that he can have his wicked way with her!

An email from a closeted investment banker

Just over a week ago, a reader sent me the following email:

Dear GB,

I always enjoy reading your blogs and appreciate your unique perspectives. I am writing today as I was hoping to have your quick advice for my unique situation.

I am from an Asian country, but I moved to the US a few years ago for a job transfer. I have been working for a major investment bank in institutional sales since graduating from university. I am gay and have been closeted throughout my life, and I try to be as careful as I can to stay that way.

As you know, the financial community is still very conservative and I do not know anyone who is openly gay or who even looks gay in my work environment. Therefore, I am very nervous about the impacts from both my employer (investment bank) and clients (asset managers) if I ever come out or become outed.

Career wise, I have been somewhat successful so far, and my future is looking OK. However, I am getting more and more nervous as people around me are increasingly more curious as to why I am not married or do not seem to date girls too much.

I am worried not only because my managers and co-workers are very homophobic, but my clients also tend to comment negatively about gays. While I work for an American investment bank, my report line is to Asia where things are still a lot more traditional and conservative. And, my client base also involves both Westerners and Asians. Therefore, I think my situation is more complicated than those who only work with the Westerners.

As I am tired of being worried about someone finding out about my sexuality, I often feel that career change might be a good way to get out of my current situation. But, I am not sure if I have any transferable skills outside of this industry since I only have equity sales experiences without an MBA.

Going onto MBA and getting into a new industry, where sexuality is less of a problem, would be an option. However, people tell me that I am too old for top MBA schools because I would not only waste tuition ($150,000) + 2 years of income, but I would also end up in less attractive job position, and making a lot less money. So, I am not sure if that would be a wise option.

I have also thought of just getting married to a girl and try to suppress my feelings like many other gay/bi guys do. However, my conscience would not let me do so.

In the past few years, I have thought of all sorts of possibilities, but I always got confused and ended up keep doing what I have been doing. However, I am increasingly frustrated and often get depressed.

Since you seem to have great knowledge about (a) how things work in investment banking industry, (b) Asian culture and (c) coming out issues, I was hoping to hear your opinion.

My apologies for the long email, but I would very much appreciate it if you could give me a quick advice. Thank you so much.


Best regards,

I was on holiday in Paris with boyfriend T when I received this email. Nonetheless, I immediately sent him a quick reply suggesting that he tries to think about how he can build confidence as a gay man, and asking him whether he has a boyfriend. For a guy in that kind of situation, a good boyfriend would be a real asset, because he would be able to give the reader a lot of emotional support. His reply was as follows:

Gaining confidence as a gay man is definitely something I would like to work on. I have tried this before but my fear of losing career, friends, and reputation has been too big. No, I have never had a boyfriend. Because it is difficult to go to gay bars as I am so afraid I could get outed by someone, the only place I can search guys has been online. I have tried multiple dating sites, but it is not too easy to meet guys for friendship or long term relationships. It is already difficult to be a minority without native level English skills, to be working in a Caucasian male dominant investment banking industry with high level of homophobia. So, I would need a great level of courage and confidence to come out here. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much again for your attention to my email.

Reading his email again, I'm glad that he hasn't forced himself into marriage with a woman. That path isn't likely to lead to long term happiness for either of them, and is particularly unfair on the woman if she doesn't know in advance that her fiance is gay.

More importantly, it's time to point out that the fundamental premise that investment banking is intrinsically homophobic is completely wrong. The key word that all banks are talking about these days is diversity. Googling for the names of a few top banks in conjunction with the word 'diversity' I found the following web sites:

Deutsche Bank diversity
Our commitment to diversity At Deutsche Bank ... goes beyond age, gender, disability, religion, ethnic origin or sexual identity. For us, a diverse culture is not just desirable: it’s an essential part of the way we do business ...

Bank of America (Merrill Lynch) diversity
Has affinity groups for "Asian, Black, people with disabilities, Hispanic/Latino, women, military veterans, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender, ..."

Goldman Sachs diversity
We strive for excellence. To be the best firm ... we hire ... across the full spectrum of gender, ethnicity, national origin, sexual orientation, gender identity, religion, culture and level of physical ability.

Morgan Stanley diversity
Member of both the National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, and the National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce NY.

I'm sure that further googling would find equivalent information from the investment banking divisions of all the other global banks, but that would make for a boring post! So as a first step, perhaps the reader should make contact with the people at the bank that he works for who're involved with his bank's diversity programs. Similarly, given that he said that he works for a major investment bank, I'm sure that there'll be a network of gay employees that he could join if he wants to.

It's worth pointing out that this culture of valuing diversity also extends to some bank clients these days. I've heard of a straight salesman being asked by a client about the diversity policy of the bank that he works for, and luckily for this salesman, he was able to give a good answer because he knew about some of the work that his boss did in connection with his bank's diversity programs.

Regarding the networks of gay employees inside investment banks, it's true that relatively few of the people who're involved with those networks work in front office roles like institutional sales, which is where this reader works. With that kind of job, the reader will be working on the trading floor, and there's no doubt it can be a tough environment. But even on a bank's trading floor, I've known gay guys have successful careers provided that they have sufficient confidence. A couple of years ago I wrote a post about something that happened to one gay guy I know. That story proves that it is just a question of confidence.

Another point that I haven't mentioned before is that the people who matter in investment banking really don't mind if someone is gay, with one caveat that I'll mention below. There may be homophobic guys working in less important roles, but in terms of the top guys, I've met enough of them to know how they think. They focus on making money for their banks for hence for themselves, they focus on getting deals done, and they frequently dedicate themselves to their careers. There's no room in their mindset to worry about someone's sexual orientation, but the caveat is that I mentioned above is that if someone is gay, then the fact they're gay mustn't matter to that person either.

Unfortunately the reader isn't yet in that category, because from the way he wrote the email to me, he's clearly very uncomfortable being gay. The fact that he worries about it is his weakness, and because it matters to him, it could be seen as a serious flaw. This is very much what I call the confidence mirror. Being gay doesn't matter, but being worried about being gay means that you must be under-performing as a banker because there's a portion of your energy that is devoted to something that's irrelevant. Having said that, it's difficult to be a successful institutional salesperson, so given that the reader is capable of that I'm sure he's capable of succeeding in his gay life too.

So it really is as I said in my original email response to him. He simply needs to work on building his confidence as a gay man. He doesn't ever need to come out to his clients or colleagues, because his private life is only a matter for him and as I said above, being gay IS irrelevant to his job. However, he needs to be confident enough so that if someone mentions to him that they saw him going into a gay bar, he'll be able to admit it without feeling that he's losing face. He needs to be confident enough that if someone asks him why he's not married, then he'll be able to say that he's been "... looking for a partner for while but hasn't found anyone suitable yet", and then follow up by saying something like "I'm never been that interested in women" if someone offers to set him up on a blind date with a woman.

If he has trouble in taking any steps to develop his gay confidence, then I would suggest that he finds a good psychotherapist for some private counselling sessions. The first steps are always the hardest, but my guess is that once he's on the right path, he'll gradually find it easier and easier to be a happy gay man :-).

Does anyone else have any thoughts for this reader?

Some great cumshots

Daily Masturbation Technique

Tightening your pubococcygeus (PC) muscle – the one that stops urine from coming out – makes your orgasm approach quicker. However, you can control that muscle while you masturbate, and you can keep it relaxed. If you concentrate on keeping it relaxed the whole time while you masturbate, you can go for a very long time without having that sensation of an impending orgasm. But everything still builds up inside you – even if you can't feel it. Masturbating for a long time this way can eventually lead to an explosive orgasm with a lot of semen.

Daily Masturbation Technique

After you have masturbated for a good, leisurely long time (with many stops and starts!), set some kind of timer, alarm clock, or digital watch to go off in 10 minutes – and don't let yourself ejaculate until the timer goes off. You should also have a digital clock in the room to note the time. (This can be the same clock as the one with the alarm, as long as it doesn't display seconds – you want to know the time to the minute, but not down to the second.) Refrain from looking at the clock for the first few minutes. As the ejaculation time draws near, occasionally glance at it – but don't stare. When there's one minute left on the clock, you'll go crazy with anticipation because the alarm could ring at any second. Try to hover right on the edge so you can orgasm immediately when the alarm rings. It will seem like an eternity!

It's especially good if the alarm has a fairly long ringing cycle. If it continues to ring as you begin ejaculating, it will heighten the sense of urgency and tension relief.

Maternal betrayal?

"I think if your parents hadn't got divorced when you were young, you might have turned out straight," says boyfriend T to me over dinner last Saturday night while we were in Paris.

"Really?" I reply with a bemused tone in my voice, "how do you work that one out??"

"Well, you've got a few straight characteristics," answers boyfriend T, "so you probably could have gone either way."

"So what made me gay then?"

"You've told me before that you'd do anything to help your mother. So I think that because you were brought up by her, you didn't ever want to have a girlfriend because loving another woman would have felt like you were betraying her. So you ended up gay :-)."

"But I never ever thought that having a girlfriend would have been betraying my mother," I reply, feeling confused, "and I'm sure that she'd have wanted me to find a nice girlfriend, preferably one with good child-bearing hips that could have ended up providing her with grandchildren! I even tried to be straight for a while, before I decided that I was gay :-)."

"I don't doubt any of that, but my theory is about what was going on in your subconscious!"

I've blogged before about how some gay guys had strong women in their lives while they were growing up, so I guess boyfriend T's theory could be true. The only problem with the theory, though, is that it's completely untestable! In any case, at this stage in my life, I'm very glad that I did end up gay :-). If I'd turned out straight, I'd never have met boyfriend T, and I can't bear the thought that I'd have ended being the boyfriend or husband of a female person instead of him!

Daily Masturbation Technique

Put two pillows (preferably fluffy ones) down on the bed, one top of the other, and then slip your penis between them. Prop yourself up on your arms and begin to pump. This is a free-handed technique.

Daily Masturbation Technique

Soak a small flannel hand towel in hot or warm water for a few minutes until it is quite hot (but be careful not to burn yourself). Take it out of the hot water, squeeze out some but not all the water, add some water-based lube if you like, and wrap it around your penis. It feels like a real vagina, and when you are finished you can even use it to clean up the semen.

A little nibble?

Daily Masturbation Technique

Try 20 light masturbation strokes, from base to top, followed by 10 quick ones. Keep alternating. Most men can't stand more than 10 minutes if someone else is doing it. This can be considered slow torture masturbation – you want to ejaculate, but you can't. When you do, the orgasm is especially good.

Cock and more cock

A weekend trip out of London

Last Friday evening, me and boyfriend T went on a weekend break outside London :-). We had a great time together, but as a result, I've had no time to write a blog post. In these situations I usually post pics of where I've been, and get readers to guess the location. Last time I did that, it took just 2 minutes (!) before a reader left a comment which correctly identified that I'd been in Dubai. This time I hope that the mystery will last a bit longer. So can anyone work out where I've been from the two pictures below, which were taken on Saturday morning?

Daily Masturbation Technique

For this technique you need music, and preferably a portable player with earphones. Strip naked and lie on a bed or in any other comfortable place. Put a towel underneath you if you're worried about the mess. Make sure you have nothing touching your penis or any other part of your body apart from what you are lying on. Put on a CD of music that makes you horny – not music to make love to, but music to screw to. Then touch your heels and put your hands behind your head while you listen to the music. Think of sex and lots of it – let your mind go crazy. When you start to get an erection you'll want to touch it, but DON'T! Swing your hips up and masturbate with the air, but whatever you do, don't touch your penis until the music finishes – then, when the CD is over, grab your penis and masturbate wildly.

Daily Masturbation Technique

Get some lube, and begin to masturbate in your favorite position – but right before you ejaculate, STOP! Put your hands down, or put them behind your head, so you don't ejaculate. Let your erection get just a little soft, and then start again, and once again, right before you ejaculate, STOP. If you do this at least four times, not only will it prolong your session greatly, it will make you ejaculate a lot more semen.

Masturbation Techniques

This week to celebrate Masturbation Month I'm going to be posting a daily masturbation technique. Hope you have fun trying them out.

My Greatest Handjob

I was 17 and my girlfriend was 16. She was not ready yet for intercourse (unfortunately) so our sex life was confined to creative hand work. We had been into heavy petting for 3 months and the handjobs had become somewhat routine. By that I mean, same grip, same stroke speed, predictable, great, but needing some variety...spice. Our venue for naughtiness was the attic of her house. In Springtime it was a great place to get off. Total privacy, even temperature and an old mattress to lie down on for a great session. My girlfriend was really hot. 5 feet tall, 96 lbs. shoulder length white/blonde hair, blue eyes - like ice, full lips, large firm supple breasts with tiny nipples. She had a great flat stomach, narrow hips with slender legs, cute tight little buns and a pussy to die for. I was 5'7", 133 lbs., slender and horny as hell.

On this particular day I was dying to come and she was more than willing to service my hungry dick. We raced up to her attic after school and tore off our clothes, leaving on just her lace panties and my briefs. As we lay on the mattress we kissed passionately and I cupped her full tits. I was rock hard and asked her to take off my shorts and she did...slowly. She marvelled at my throbbing cock and gently kissed the head. I pulled off her panties and french kissed the lips that do not speak. She wanted to give me a different kind of hand job. She said she would start with a normal even paced stroke, then with each successive stroke the speed would gradually slow down with the grip loosening around my cock. (The grip was just her thumb and first finger wrapping completely around.) This was just an incredible progression for sensation. As she was stroking me I was holding her left tit with my left hand and we were very lightly french kissing. The strokes became slower, the grip looser. With each stroke the build up of pleasure was becoming intense. It got to where the strokes were so slow, they were at super slow motion, almost a stand still. Her grip was so light she was barely, just barely, brushing the skin of my head and shaft. The strokes got so slow it would take 3 or 4 minutes for her hand to start at the tip of the head, stroke down to the balls then back up again. And every time her fingers would brush past the ring where I'm circumcised it would be like a micro-orgasm, wildly pleasurable! This monumental handjob was now well past 25 minutes, with every super-slow stroke just mind blowing. I could feel that ejaculation was near and there was no turning back. One more stroke was all I could stand before I exploded. As soon as her fingers brushed ever-so- slowly past the rim of the head down to the circumcision ring, I shot. And this was the most intense/unusual orgasm-ejaculation I've ever had. The first shot was not the usual burst of sperm. Instead, I shot a sprinkler-style burst of clear liquid, about 50 tiny droplets. The next shot was a thunderous gob of thick cum, followed by 2 more shots, an excessive amount of semen all over my stomach and chest. The rest of the ejaculate ran down my cock like lava from a volcano. My girlfriend exclaimed...WOW! That was an understatement.

ballslappin jerkoff

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Masturbating

Masturbation

An email about circumcision

About a week and a half ago, a reader sent me the following email:

Dear GB,

Like nearly all white Midwestern Americans born in the late 1970's, I was circumcised at birth. It bothers me that I had no say in the matter and that the procedure is still performed on millions of American infants each year, largely for cosmetic reasons. I am vocal in my opposition to the procedure, but my boyfriend can't comprehend why it bothers me. He thinks I should just forget about it and let life go on and let others do as they want. I don't want to sit back and let the same thing happen to others. What makes things worse is that there is widespread speculation that the American Academy of Paediatrics may actually begin to recommend the procedure in a new policy on male circumcision that is expected out this summer. What is your opinion on the matter? We are not in the middle of Africa were HIV is rampant, and I don't buy the cleanliness argument in this century where there is ready access to water for washing. I've heard that many Britons that think we are crazy in the US to continue the procedure. Would a recommendation for male circumcision make Britons think Americans have gone completely off the deep end? Now that circumcision rates have decreased in the UK for a few generations, do you think there is any danger that Britons will begin to adopt the practice widely?

Thanks for your advice,

Although I've had this blog about gay life for over 5 years now, I've actually never blogged about circumcision. So I guess this post is long overdue :-).

Over the years, I've enjoyed activities with both cut and uncut guys. Looking back, it would have been interesting to have kept a record of what types of guys were cut and what types of guys were uncut, but of course I haven't done that. In terms of enjoying the activities with all the different guys, I'm being quite honest when I say that it's never made much difference to me, because I've always focussed on the guy himself rather than the details of his apparatus. The only thing that I can think of is that I've found it easier to give unfamiliar equipment a hand job when the guy is uncircumcised!

America certainly isn't the only country that routinely circumcises its male children. Although my impression is that British and other European guys tend to be uncut, I'm pretty sure that some East Asian countries also circumcise most of their boys, although since I haven't kept records I'm not absolutely certain. It's also obviously the norm in Islamic countries and Israel. However, I'd be very surprised if it were to become standard in the UK during my lifetime. Perhaps because it's not standard over here I don't think British guys think about it very much, so I doubt that we'd think that Americans are crazy if they do start recommending it. For me, the fact that Americans still can't spell 'colour' after all these years is much more curious.

I can't help wondering what grounds there might be for the American Academy of Paediatrics to make circumcision the recommended policy. I've heard that circumcision makes HIV transmission slightly less likely. Apparently the HIV virus quickly dies when it's outside the body, but when it ends up on a guy's helmet underneath his foreskin, I think it's easier for it to find its way inside his body before it dies. As the reader says, in a modern society where guys wash regularly and change their underwear more than once a week, the cleanliness argument seems a bit weak. In terms of aesthetic appeal and cosmetic beauty, I suppose again I slightly prefer guys to be uncut, in the same way that a car looks better when the engine is under the bonnet rather than out in the open.

I've always wondered if there's any difference in orgasmic sensitivity between circumcised and uncircumcised guys. The fact that an uncircumcised guy's helmet is protected under his foreskin might mean that it's more sensitive than a circumcised guy's helmet, so perhaps it's more fun to be uncircumcised because one might expect that a circumcised guy's helmet gradually becomes slightly desensitised. It would be interesting to hear from any readers that were circumcised during adulthood whether they think there's an effect on sensitivity or not.

Regarding circumcision on religious grounds, I'm very much against it. More generally, I'm against anything that differentiates one set of people from another set of people, because that leads to divisions and ultimately wars! So I support the French for banning religious headscarves on girls in schools, given that most female French students don't wear headscarves. But perhaps in terms of circumcision, that means that all guys need to be circumcised, because I don't see how families can be banned from circumcising their male children.

Another thought is evolution. After several billion years of evolution, guys are born with foreskins,. Presumably this means that there's a good reason for them to be there. This means that unless there's a very good reason to cut them off, surely it makes sense to leave them alone.

Looking at all the different aspects that I've mentioned above, although I don't feel particularly strongly about it, if pushed to make a decision my vote would be for guys to wear foreskins rather than take them off. After all, avoiding circumcision means that a guy's got something else that can be fun to play with :-). For example, does anyone enjoy docking?

Finally, perceptive readers will realise that I've written this entire posting without divulging whether I'm circumcised or not. So you'll all just have to guess!

Do any readers have any views on circumcision?

M and K's Bedroom

Just been reading a new blog I stumbled across - M and K's Bedroom. Check it out as it looks like it's going to be a good one. Melissa and Kevin are a (relatively) newly-wed couple in their early twenties. They're both a year or two out of college, and finally away from home and school for good, out in the working world. But its not a blog about work, or school, or home; it is a blog about fucking.

Having fun

Moment in Masturbation History: Sinful Inventions in the Early 1900s

Am I pleased to be living now.

The late 1800s to the early 1900s were dark days for masturbation. During this time both Corn Flakes and Graham Crackers were developed in an effort to curb masturbatory impulses in young boys (which were seen as leading to poor health, mental illness, and all manner of evil). Between 1856 and 1932 the U.S. Patent Office approved 33 patents for “anti-masturbation” devices. These torture devices developed by physicians and moralistic inventors alike ranged from spiked rings to male chastity belts to electrifying devices that would be sufficient for “burning the flesh” causing “great physical pain, and possible mutilation”.

Here are some examples antimasturbation devices:

1. Simple Bondage-- For some, the simple answer was to tie the masturbators up and prevent them from touching themselves.

2. Leather-Jacket Corset-- A corset made out of leather and steel to be used by boys, was created by Dr. Fleck in 1831. It included a metal penis tube and "a steel band riveted to the shield permanently and attached to the body with an encircling steel band in such a manner that it cannot be removed and prevented access to the testicles." The doctor once reported that "it closes with greatest accuracy, fits to perfection, and the boy wears it continuously without having succeeded even once in reaching his genitals or pulling the machine away from his body so as to produce friction on his genitals."

3. Spike-lined Ring-- Created to prevent the nocturnal emissions and any display of nighttime sexuality, spike-lined penis rings were created in the 1950's by doctors in Boston.

4. Spermatorrhea Bandage-- These devices kept the penis tightly bound, thus making it impossible to have an erection.

5. Stephenson Spermatic Truss-- Patented in 1876, this device placed the penis in a pouch, and then stretched and tied down between the legs, which made erection impossible. Stephenson changed his device slightly 21 years later, adding a metal hood under which the penis could move freely. Any erection would drive the penis against painful spikes.

6. Bowen Device-- This device was like a cup that was placed over the head of the penis and attached to pubic hair by chains and clips. When the wearer got an erection, the pubic hair would be plucked painfully and the wearer would have to respond.

7. The Cage-- The Handbook of Medicine in 1885 offered a metal cage that could be put around a boys genitals. It would allow erections, which weren't seen as wrong, yet would prevent the boy from touching himself.

8. Dr. Moodie Apparatus for Boys-- Scotch physician John Moodie invented this truss-and-shield device in 1848. It included a penis tube with a slot on the side for the boy to push his penis out in order to urinate.

9. Penis-Cooling Devices-- These devices cooled an impending erection with either air or water; Frank Orth invented both types and patented them in 1893. He said that "the penis is inserted in the hole and between the levers so that if during the night an erection occurs, the dilatation of the penis spreads the levers, thus separating the jaws, and permitting the cold water to flow through the tube to the sack or envelope. The cold water... cools the organ of generation, so that the erection subsides and no discharge occurs."

10. Sexual Armor-- A jacket with leather pants which supports a large piece of steel armor. Perforations in the armor allowed urine to escape, yet the bolted, padlocked trapdoor at the rear would have to be opened for other business...

Oxbridge Sex Blog

A student with a "voracious appetite for sex" is at the centre of a whodunnit mystery after writing a blog about her one-night stands. The single "attractive" female, who says she is a "highly intelligent Oxbridge student currently shagging my way through the half-term hump", is using oxbridgesex.blogspot.com to detail her flings. The blog is drawing comparisons with Belle de Jour, who gripped readers with her secret Diaries Of A Call Girl, later turned into a TV show starring Billie Piper.

The right result

I can't help thinking that all the political parties got what they deserved in the recent UK election. The Labour party lost lots of seats because they've been in power for too long so a change is needed, and because they didn't save any of the taxes that they collected during the good years before the financial crisis. The Liberal Democrat party also lost a few seats, in spite of expectations of a big breakthrough for them, because when people started looking at their policies in detail they were realised how bad some of them were. And although the Conservative party gained lots of seats, they didn't get an outright majority because their leader David Cameron isn't convincing enough!

In spite of boyfriend T's comment he couldn't be boyfriends with someone who wants to get into bed with Brown, in the end I had to vote Labour. However it was mostly a tactical vote. There was a danger that I could have ended up with a Liberal Democrat MP, and given that some of their policies are very much against bankers, that would have felt like a disaster for me.

The only downside is that the result leaves the country with a hung parliament. At the moment, it looks as though David Cameron is going to get into bed with Nick Clegg. I think they'll make a lovely couple :-).

How To Masturbate for Men

Masturbation is considered by many to be the cornerstone of sexual health. Most men believe that they already know everything about their own genitals and sexual response. It’s all out there, boys will be boys, etc. But just because you know how your tools work, doesn’t mean you can build the Eiffel Tower. In fact most men experience a fraction of their full erotic and orgasmic potential. Read on for simple and fun tips on how to masturbate for men.

Time Required: Male masturbation doesn't have to always be a "quick affair". Take your time and enjoy.

Here's How:
1. Make time for more than a quickie.
Most guys first learn to masturbate in secret and furtive ways. They do it quickly and need to figure out what to do with the evidence afterward. This can create a powerful pattern of masturbating quickly, without paying attention to where your sexual arousal can take you. To start exploring something different, make sure you have some extended time and privacy for yourself, where you aren’t trying to finish quick before someone interrupts.

2. Turn off the porn (just for a while) and tune into your body.
Not everyone likes porn, but a lot of guys do, and while porn can be great, it also takes you out of your body a bit with the fantasy. This can distract you from what’s actually happening in your body. You don’t need to throw the porn away, but for a few times, masturbate without porn, and objectify yourself for a change!

3. Do a…dry…run through.
Bad pun aside, it’s a good idea to try the above suggestions, and then just masturbate as you normally would. As you do this pay attention:
Changes in your breathing: Does it become shallow and quick, slower and deeper?
Changes in your body: is there tension in some places, and relaxation in others? Is this the same every time you masturbate?
How does it feel just before you have an orgasm?
How does it feel as you orgasm, and immediately post-orgasm?

4. Time to switch it up.
Men learn early in their lives the most effective way to get themselves off. And most never waver from the utilitarian approach to self love. But sex is less like a well oiled machine, and more like a chaotic food fair, where there is an endless selection of ways to satisfy your appetites. So it’s time to throw a wrench in the works and shake up your routine. Try any combination of the following suggestions:

5. Does your left hand know what your right hand is doing?
Do you always use the same one hand to masturbate? Most guys do. If you’re among them, start with the simple tip of switching hands. It can feel strange at first, the rhythm might be off, it’s almost like sex with someone new for the first time. Enjoy the newness, and see if a new hand can teach an old hand some tricks.

6. Experiment with positions.
If you aren’t an experimental type, it’s time to start. If you’re used to masturbating lying down on your back, try sitting up. If you normally sit in a chair, try standing, or kneeling. As with all these changes, this might feel ridiculous at first, and you’ll probably go back to old faithful, but see what masturbation feels like in different positions, and notice if it brings with it any new sensations.

7. Get your hips moving.
The way your body moves when you masturbate is probably very different from the way it moves when you’re having sex with someone else. Many men don’t move at all when they masturbate. Try to move your hips when you masturbate, simulating the thrusting of intercourse. Notice how moving your hips in different ways can bring you closer to, and at times take you farther away from, the point of orgasm.

8. Use different hand strokes.
Most men learn early on that a vigorous stroke does the trick. This intense up and down stimulation usually ends in a good orgasm. But there are dozens of other strokes that each bring with them different sensations, and different orgasms. Roll your penis in between your hands, moving your hands up and down your shaft. Try using long twisting strokes instead of just up and down. Experiment with different movements, pressures, and speeds.

9. Explore your shaft.
While most of the nerve endings on the penis are at the head, and specifically the frenulum, many men will have spots on their shaft that are unusually sensitive. Try putting one hand at the base of your penis and press it towards your body while experimenting with different hand strokes along the shaft of your penis. Treat this like a treasure hunt, and try to feel the difference between one side and the other, between stimulation near the base and up near the tip.

10. Reach around, yourself.
For many men the balls are a very sensitive area that responds well to feelings of touch and pressure. Take your forefinger and thumb and make them in a circle at the top of your scrotum. Gently tug on your scrotum as your masturbating. This is both a way to prevent you from ejaculating and a way to extend sexual feelings in your body. Experiment with other kinds of touch including tickling, scratching, and rubbing.

11. Check out the neighborhood.
While the penis and scrotum tend to be the epicenter of masturbatory attention, if you’re looking to open things up a bit, be sure to take a tour of some other nearby areas. The perineum, the area between the scrotum and anus, is very sensitive to pressure and massage, and rubbing it provides external prostate stimulation. Speaking of which, don’t be afraid to explore the anus, both externally and by using a finger for penetration.

12. Bring it all together.
Not everything you try is going to do it for you, but the idea behind the above tips is to try lots of different things, and then incorporate whatever you like into the ways you regularly masturbate. Maybe it’s a different stroke, or position, or breathing technique. Obviously there is no one, correct way to masturbate, and even if you’ve got something that works for you, consider the fact that there could be more out there if you experiment with it.

Tips:
Another myth about male masturbation is that you shouldn’t use anything other than you hand. While your hand might be doing the trick, adding some accessories can make the stimulation even more intense, and inspire more creativity with yourself, and with partners.

Get a good quality personal lubricant. If it’s only for masturbation you can use something that’s oil based without worrying about condom compatibility. Oil based products are better because they won’t dry up.

Add a sex toy into the mix. It might be a vibrator, a dildo, or a cock ring (if you’ve never tried one I recommend trying one on your own before you use it with a partner). Sex toys can add a completely new kind of stimulation, and accentuate the manual stimulation your doing.

Swimmers

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Experence In Masturbation

Just came across this story on the web:

As far back as I can remember I had been jacking off in one form or another, even though at an early age there was no cum,there was a good feeling in my groin and belly.

I have used the oils,slick lotions,viberators at first and even using the power spray in the shower letting the pin point of water hit on the under side of my dick till I was shooting cream all over the shower,man,it would take your breath away.

I remember a guy I worked with telling me about a trick he used often. At first I was afraid to try it but my curiosity got the best of me after awhile. The only kind of coffee pot I had was a drip so I had to look around until I found the old perk type which was the only kind that would work. I would fill it with water leaving the basket out and the lid off then plug it in till the water was luke warm. I would then squat over it and lower my balls in the water as I stroked my cock. The hotter the water, the more aroused I became till I was shooting loads of white milky cream, it was really awesome.

I even tried the pumps, as I used a ten inch rubber dick, sucking it till it was well lubed then slid it down my throat,I had practiced this with a long polish sausage til I had it mastered. The rubber cock was more life like and I liked it much better.(It's not easy to find a guy who has a dick long enough for that). Then I obtained another cock, an eight incher which I added to the session, it had a suction cup on the bottom which I stuck to a board and lowered my ass down on it as I used the other toys at the same time.

In time I graduated to the nipple clamps, taking an eighteen inch chain I attached an alligator clip to each end and would tease my nipples with one for awhile as I jacked off then would attach one to each nipple, loop the chain around my balls and stretch out slowly. The farther I stretched the, more the pain excited me and I would come with so much power my cream shot as far as my chin at times.

As anyone who loves to jack off knows, you are constantly looking for new ways and I was no exception. At first I wired up nine volt batteries and would hook one on one nipple then touch the other to my other nipple receiving a jolt, not life threatening but enough to get you worked up. But that was to crude, so I took a converter from my tape player, cut the wires, then attached clips to the ends. Taking a foot pedal I used to vary the speeds of my power tools, I plugged it in an outlet then plugged the converter into the pedal. Dabbing just a little water on each nipple, I placed the clips on my nipples then would press down on the pedal slowly, sending the juice to both nipples. Sometimes I press up and down on it several times quickly as I jacked off and when I am on the verge of coming I press the pedal down and hold it, shooting cream all over the place. The more I wet my nipples, the stronger the jolt, but it's never enough to really harm me unless I leave it on to long, then it can cause a burn, to my nipples.

I have even got jacked off as I ate pussy, being a person who has no trouble coming four and five times a night, I still satisfy my partner.

The strongest climax I ever had was when I was fisted one time. I have never done it done again because there was no one around who knew what they were doing and that's a must when it comes to doing that. At first the pain was all most unbearable but then it was like I was floating with a swooning sensation. The feeling of pleasure would be so great I would pass out for a minute or so.

The strongest feeling was when he was removing his fist and would reach a certain spot where the feeling was so intense, my body shook all over and I remember coming for the third time. It took two hours for him to go in and come out. I'm not talking about just his fist, I'm talking about a good portion of his arm. Still, it was another form of masturbation for me.

One thing I wanted to try and he said he could do it was while his fist was in my ass, have another guy slip his dick in and let the guy jack him off inside my ass, I was all for it, but the guy moved to Vegas before I had a chance to go back. I still intend to try that some day, even if I have to make a trip out there.

I love pussy as well as sucking dick and enjoy a nice hard dick up my ass often, but I still get a charge from just plain old jacking off, with a little added quirk thrown in.

Jacking Off with Diesel Underwear

Masturbation Month

May is National Masturbation Month in the US (see Good Vibrations for more). It doesn't seem to have caught on over here in the UK unless I've missed hearing about it. But not to worry I've decided to carry on regardless and will rise to the occasion. I've started with a few polls on the right and will have some special masturbation posts.

Ejaculations

A couple of weeks ago, myself and boyfriend T are having dinner with Close Encounters in a smart restaurant when the subject of ejaculation arises.

"There's a guy that I've seen a couple of times who produces enormous porn star quality cum shots!" says Close Encounters, with a real sense of admiration in his voice.

"Wow, really?" I reply, "But do you mean that he's a heavy cummer, or does he just shoot it a long way?"

Of course, the answer to that question is none of my business really, but I can't help myself from wanting to know all the details!

"Both :-)," laughs Close Encounters, and a distant smile gradually creeps across his face as he presumably starts remembering some of the details of his last session with this guy.

"I don't think I've ever been with a guy who's capable of one of those huge cum loads that you sometimes get in porn clips," I say, feeling as though I'm missing out.

"Actually, the guy himself hates it," replies Close Encounters, still smiling, "because there's so much mess!"

Both me and boyfriend T laugh at this, and briefly I wonder what it would be like if I produced a cupful every time I came.

"Incidentally," continues Close Encounters, "what do you think of guys who want to clean up immediately after a session?"

"I think it can mean that a guy isn't completely comfortable begin gay," I answer, after thinking about it briefly. "They want to clean up because they feel guilty that they've just had sex with another guy, so they want to pretend that it didn't happen."

"Yes, I suppose that could sometimes be the reason."

We chat about it a bit more, but gradually the conversation drifts onto other subjects.

Later, I remember that I did once witness a huge load, about seven years ago. I visited a guy who was working backstage in a London theatre on a Sunday afternoon. We had a session in an office there, at the end of which he came all over my chest! Luckily he had a big towel that I was able to clean myself up with. So perhaps the guy that Close Encounters has been seeing is right after all. Big loads can be inconveniently messy!

This is something I've never been able to do

I've never been able to pee whilst my cock is hard. Is it common for guys to be able to do this?

Does your blood type affect your personality?

A few days ago while I'm on my way to work, I'm idly browsing through the BBC news web site on my smartphone when I spot an article titled Dating by blood type in Japan. I've never heard of this before, so when I get to work, I immediately send boyfriend T an email to ask him what he knows about it. Later that morning I get his reply:

Actually, I once saw a movie called "My blood B type boyfriend" which was quite a success in Asia. This blood type thing seems more important for women, especially teen girls. I have never been into this. I think it is a very silly thing!

But just for fun, have a look at this website and guess what my blood type is. Any thoughts?

When I open the web site I immediately look for my own blood type (type O), and see that it describes me as "Outgoing, energetic and social, ... extremely self-confident". I've been called all those things in the past, so I start wondering whether there's some truth in the concept :-). However, although I think I know boyfriend T quite well I guess his blood type wrongly 3 times, so maybe it doesn't stand up to scrutiny after all!

Do any readers have any views on this subject?

Hotel Showoff

Am interested in somewhat safe ways to show off in public... Has anyone shown off in a hotel window or on a hotel or resort balcony? Any reactions?