To my knowledge, it's happened twice over the last three months. Negative comments about this blog that is! On two occasions recently, one blogger has written that he liked this blog, only to receive a comment from another blogger disapproving of his views.
It first happened on Rye's blog 'Got Gay?'. I get a positive mention at the bottom of one of his postings, but the eighth comment to the posting says "sorry can't help protesting - gaybanker is the worst of all IMHO"!
Then last Friday, the first comment to On Golden Ponds's posting in which he says that he likes this blog was quite negative. In subsequent comments though, after I've left a couple of my own comments, the guy who made the negative comment does make an apology.
The negative reactions seem to relate to the fact that my relationship with boyfriend number 1 is not monogamous. Curiously, both negative reactions came from guys who live in Melbourne Australia! Furthermore both guys are in their 20's, and although they're both gay, as far as I can tell neither of them has had a long term boyfriend yet. Which is what got me thinking.
It was over a year ago when Joe.My.God said that 'somewhere in the mid-30's vehement defence of monogamous relationships pretty much evaporates'. But perhaps it relates more to whether guys have actually been in long term relationships or not, rather than their age. That could still correspond with Joe.My.God’s suggestion if, on average, a guy gets his long term boyfriend at around the age of 30.
Once a guy gets a few years into a long-term relationship, I reckon a lot of views about monogamy change. Monogamy is a nice idea in theory, so a lot of us try it. As I've said before, even I was monogamous for around 5 years. But for a lot of guys, monogamy doesn't end up working in practice, and it's only when guys have tried monogamy for a while that they realise this.
However I’m still a huge advocate of long term relationships. As I said recently, I reckon that boyfriends are your very closest friends, the ones you can rely on and share your life with, and the ones that provide you with long term companionship. Sex is usually part of that but it doesn't have to be, and these days I really can’t understand why monogamy in such relationships matters so much to some guys. The truth is that I’d be completely lost without my boyfriends. At the moment, I feel my relationships with them all are deepening too. Even though I’ve recently returned from a holiday with boyfriend number 2, I now feel much closer to boyfriend number 1.
Regarding the negative comments, criticisms that I was originally deceiving boyfriend number 1 are fair. In fact this blog records my path to honesty with him. These days boyfriend number 1 knows about boyfriend number 2, and he also knows that I have other encounters as well. Perhaps other guys can learn from my mistakes by reading this blog.
Lastly if it was the sex-oriented focus of this blog that the guys objected to, perhaps there’ll be less objection in future given that this blog took a new direction a couple of months ago. Since then there've been 35 posts, including 8 in my new Dear GB agony uncle category, but only 4 in my Encounters category.
Still, whatever people think of this blog, one thing is for sure. I do enjoy being a source of controversy!
No comments:
Post a Comment