Doublethink

I recently read a post titled "I'm not gay I just sleep with men", written by a guy who lives in Nairobi. I explain why I disagree with the main idea behind the posting in a comment, however reflecting on the subject matter reminded me of how I used to think.

When I was a teenager, I read the classic novel Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell. The book describes a sinister one-party state where the senior party members seek absolute control over their citizens, even to the extent of controlling their thoughts. One of the concepts in the book was Doublethink, which is best defined as the act of simultaneously holding two contradictory beliefs while fervently believing both! At the time when I read the book, I can recall thinking that this concept was ludicrous. My best subjects at school were mathematics and the sciences, and compared to the flawless logic of mathematics in particular, illogical concepts like Doublethink made absolutely no sense to me.

Skipping forward a few years and when I thought about my personal life, there were two things that I fervently believed. I wasn't gay, how could I be, that was forbidden so I just had to be straight for sure. The other thing I knew was that I enjoyed the company of other guys, and could imagine living with some of my best male friends forever, and playing with them in intimate ways too! It was only when I eventually came out as gay that I looked back and realised the truth. Not only was Doublethink possible, I had managed it for several years. It was a big shock.

These days, partly as a result of that experience, I always try to be open to unusual concepts. However weird they might seem at first!