Having Christmas crackers when eating a traditional Christmas lunch in the UK is an old British custom. But every year I wonder why this pointless custom persists. Each cracker typically contains a cheap (mostly useless) gift, a paper hat to wear while eating the lunch, and a joke which isn't very funny. I usually reckon that the only useful item is the hat, because wearing the silly hats tends to put everyone in a party mood which makes the event more fun :-).This year, the 'jokes' I've encountered in Christmas crackers seemed particularly inane, although I admit that I hadn't heard any of them before:
Q. Why don't ducks tell jokes when they're flying?
A. Because they would quack up!
Q. How do snails keep their shells shiny?
A. They use snail varnish!
Q. Who is the most famous married woman in America?
A. Mrs. Sippi
Q. What has a bed but does not sleep, and a mouth but does not speak?
A. A river
Unfortunately, smutty jokes aren't allowed, because at a Christmas lunch children are likely to be present. But smutty Christmas jokes would be much more fun :-). Something like:
Q. What does a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration!
Can anyone do any better than that?
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