Email from a woman with a bisexual ex-boyfriend

A couple of weeks ago, I received the following email from a new female reader:

Dear GB

You don't know me - but I saw your blog and thought to write you!!

I recently found out that my ex-boyfriend/lover is "bi-curious." We've talked about it and I made sure to confront/ask him about it in the most sensitive way. We are best friends and I would never want to betray that or hurt him - even though I was hurt and shocked to find out (found out through searching on the web). He said that he's never actually followed through with it...it's just a fantasy for him. I understand him and want to be there for him, but now I'm obsessed. I check the web every other day to see if he's still active. I don't know what to do or how to handle this situation. I love him to death - but not sure how to continue with him. My trust is gone, because he never told me. And I'm not sure he's just curious...but I know he'll never tell me if he's not. Just wondering if you have any advise for me... On how to be there for him but protect myself...

I replied immediately, asking her why she was concerned about an ex-boyfriend, and whether it was him that ended their relationship. She replied within a day to say she was worried about giving any more information, in case the guy in question identified her from reading my blog.

In my follow up email to her, where I tried to allay her fears about divulging more information to me, I pointed out that her situation is very similar to the female reader who sent me an email last October. Indeed, I reckon much of the same advice applies. If she can, I think she should encourage him to investigate his bi-curiosity, because only once he's done that will he be able to make adult decisions about how he wants to live his life.

Whichever one of them it was that caused the split, the most likely underlying reason is that the guy was having doubts about his sexuality. He could have consciously made the decision to split, or perhaps the female reader felt he had become too distant and was maybe hiding something and hence instigated the split. Either way, they're not in a relationship any more so she needs to recognise that. It's nice to stay friends with ex-boyfriends where possible, but she's got her own life to lead.

I never got a response to my last email so I don't think there's much more to say, except that she should be concerned that she's become so obsessed with this guy's situation. My best guess is that she doesn't know many gay or bisexual guys, so for some reason being so close to this one has fascinated her. But if she likes the idea of having gay guys as friends, the internet can help. Apart from contact with gay guys like me through our blogs, the internet can also help straight women make develop real [offline] friendships with gay guys. The best example I have of that is when my one of my gay male friends moved to a new city a couple of years ago. He successfully advertised online as a gay guy who wanted female friends, so perhaps it would work the other way round too!

Do any other readers have any thoughts?