A couple of years ago, just after I'd introduced the "Dear GB" queue in this blog's right hand side-bar, I got an email that was much more urgent that the entries that were in the queue at the time. On that occasion I allowed a bit of "queue jumping" and posted the email with my response almost immediately. Since then, however, I haven't let anyone jump the queue!
But yesterday, a long time reader who's emailed me privately on countless occasions send me a request for advice which does seem more urgent than the other two requests that are sitting in my "Dear GB" queue. Given the urgency of his situation, coupled with the fact that this guy has been emailing me since July 2006, I've decided to allow a bit of queue jumping again. So with apologies to the two guys who he's jumping ahead of, this is the email that I received from this reader yesterday:
Dear GB
I've got the mother of 'high-maintenance' female employees to manage. To be blunt she is an unhinged, calculating, scheming woman. I don't use those words lightly. As with many companies, turnover is on the decline, and she knows her job may be at risk as she's smart enough. Last week she lodged an official grievance against me. Some 59 issues raised including racism (she's not British) and SEXUAL harassment being just two of the most hostile.
Following lengthy interviews with her, my Managing Director now finally believes this to be a calculated attempt to undermine me and oust me from the company, therefore enabling her to take on my job. All staff who've been interviewed report my impeccable behaviour concerning racism and those who work in my immediate office area have on record stated the sexual harassment charge allegation is just ridiculous and without any substance. The company are now trying to find a way to 'manage' her out of the business as soon as possible without further costly claims.
Should I just 'out' myself to quash this vile accusation?
Naturally, I sent this reader an immediate reply, in which I included the following paragraph:
I think you should come out if you don't think it would damage your career. Indeed, it's possible to relax and hence perform better at work when one isn't hiding one's sexuality. But you don't need to come out to everyone, well not at first anyway. You could just tell your immediate boss. In fact, given that you are gay, I'm sure he'd be very interested in the news because it could help the firm strengthen it's legal case in connection with his woman, if it were to get that far.
About two and a half hours after I sent that reply, I received the following response from him:
GB
Thanks for your most speedy response. I'm wouldn't say I'm hiding my sexuality. Just not relevant to my work and has never been a topic of conversation in the workplace:) Small company - I'm one of the few white collar suits amongst the blue collars. I keep things formal as the guys on the factory floor like that. They enjoy telling me filthy tales when I'm handing out pay advice notes etc. I listen and smile politely :)
Do I have to provide evidence concerning my sexuality? Sworn testaments, stash of porn etc? I don't see my sexuality as a clear cut issue to be honest. First and foremost I'm just me and by the way I like guys if you must know sort of attitude. The woman has really been driving me mad for months. Every word I've exchanged has been guarded.
GB, my mortgage depends on you :) I trust your judgement to flesh out the topic etc.
I'm not a lawyer, but my guess would be that one only needs to provide proof of sexuality if the case were to go to court, and if the other side of the case were to dispute the fact. However, I have no idea what would be acceptable proof. I find the idea that a big stash of gay porn could be used to prove that one is gay rather amusing, but at best, I'd have thought that that could only be circumstantial evidence. My guess would be that testimony from any of the reader's boyfriends or gay lovers, coupled with the inability of anyone to find any girlfriends would presumably be sufficient.
Given that the grievance has 59 issues, it would be inadvisable just to focus on the sexual harassment charge. Judging by his manager's reaction so far, it seems that he's likely to survive this, however he mustn't become complacent. So rather relying on the advice of friends, bloggers, and blog readers, perhaps the best course of action would be to find himself a lawyer who's an expert in this field!
Do any other readers, particularly lawyers, have any thoughts on this situation?
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