East Africa

"I'm not racist," says my friend, "after all, I've got an African boyfriend. But I do think that their culture is a bit screwed up. For example, I can think of six different Swahili words for arse fucking!"

Both myself and boyfriend T burst out laughing. We've come out to dinner with an old friend of mine who lives in Africa for part of the year, and it's quite interesting listening to what he has to say.

"But in English there are quite a few words for arse fucking as well," I point out, "Anal sex, buggery, rear entry, and so on."

"I suppose so," answers my friend, "but in Africa, in the villages near my house, they completely obsessed with it. A rumour started recently that there was a vampire in the area, and everyone went mad. It's not blood sucking that they're worried about. They all believe that vampires will put you into a trance and then fuck you up the arse!"

"You're joking surely?" I reply, slightly shocked, "and these people really believe it?"

"Absolutely they do! But there's a way to prevent a vampire from fucking your arse. You have to go to sleep on your hands and knees, with your naked arse stuck up in the air. Any vampire that sees that will be sure that it's a trick, to try and catch him, so he'll leave you alone! When the vampire rumour started recently, there were all these people wandering around looking tired and with sore limbs, from where they'd been trying to sleep with their arse in the air."

"Does this mean that they're all obsessed with the idea of gay sex too?" I ask.

"It's a taboo subject, but in reality there's a lot of it going on."

"Really?"

"Well, typically the men don't get married until their late 20's. But a lot of the young women don't like sex before marriage, because they don't want to have babies out of wedlock, and they don't trust their men to use condoms. So in their early 20's, some of the guys will basically fuck each other."

"It would be interesting to visit you there sometime," says boyfriend T, fascinated by what he's been hearing.

"Well you're both more than welcome :-)," replies my friend enthusiastically, "but if you end up one morning in a trance and with a sore bottom, don't say that I didn't warn you!"