Saturday, June 26, 2010

A few LGBT surprises

A few days ago, I get an invite on the business connections network Linked-in to add someone called Christine to my list of contacts. I don't really use Linked-in much, but I always accept connection invites from people I know. This invite is a bit of a surprise, though, because I can't think of anyone called Christine who would want to connect with me. However, when I open the email that accompanies the invite, I get an even bigger surprise:

Hello GB,

I wondered what you were up to these days. I have changed my name since we last met - and everything that goes with it. Do you fancy meeting in London for a coffee sometime?

Best wishes - Christine (you knew me as Chris)


I feel absolutely astounded because I immediately realise that I used to work with this person in the early 1990's. He used to be a trader, and certainly not someone who I'd ever have thought would want to have his bits cut off. Checking Christine's profile on Linked-in, I see a picture of a woman that could very easily be the new him, and what looks exactly like the career history of the person that I knew as Chris. The invite is obviously genuine so I clearly can't refuse. I accept Christine's invitation to be in my in contact list and send her a supporting email:

Hi Christine,

It was a real surprise to get your linked-in invitation this morning, partly because I don’t think we’ve met since the 1990's, and partly because I haven’t met many transgender people. When we worked together, I recall that you seemed to be very close to your wife, so I certainly didn't expect your news. I presume that you’re no longer married, so I hope the transition wasn’t too difficult. On my side I think a lot of people that I’ve worked with in the financial markets know that I’m gay, and although I split up with the boyfriend that I had since 1989 a couple of years ago, I’ve got a new boyfriend now :-).

Best wishes, GB


However, the next day, her response genuinely shocks me:

Hi GB,

Actually I am still technically married. My spouse and I live entirely separate lives but from the same house where we share the children. I regard myself as a gay woman ...


As soon as I read that last line, I have to stop reading to try and let the information sink in. All I can think of is the episode "D-Yikes!" from South Park series 11 episode, where the male to female transgender character Janet Garrison decides that she's really a lesbian. Eventually I manage to read the rest of Christine's email, where again she suggests that we meet up for coffee, so I send a reply to accept her offer. However, although I try to compose a response to the fact that she now regards herself as a gay woman, I'm at a complete loss in terms of what to say. In the end, I decide not to mention it at all, because I have no idea what an appropriate comment would be.

I often share interesting emails that I receive from friends or whoever with boyfriend T, so I forward Christine's email to him, and tell him how shocked I am by her latest revelation. To my further surprise, his reply is very sympathetic to her situation:

Wow, this is a really interesting story. You should be kind to her, because can you imagine what a tough life she's had? Don't let her know how surprised you were, and that you think that she might be a bit weird! One thing I really admire about this country is that people tend to accept diversities like this, which are really not welcome in my home country.

I suppose boyfriend T is right. However, when I think back to when I knew Christine as Chris, there was always something a bit attention-seeking about his behaviour. But even if someone has an attention-seeking behaviour disorder, surely they wouldn't go this far just to get their kicks?

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