Saturday, June 30, 2007
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
The case of the expiring gaydar membership
Last November, I wanted to get boyfriend number 3 a Christmas present before I left for my holiday with boyfriend number 2 in Argentina.
"I don't know what you can get me for Christmas," says boyfriend number 3 on one of my lunchtime visits in early November. "You know me, I'm pretty self-sufficient so I don't really need anything."
"I've got an idea," I say mischievously, "I think you'd get a lot of use out of a pair of hand-cuffs :-). Do you want reinforced steel ones, or how about fluffy pink?"
But he looks at me frostily, not at all amused. "I definitely don't want things like that lying around, in case the guy I'm seeing finds them and wants to know where they came from!"
Sometimes I find boyfriend number 3's attitude to this guy exasperating! He says he's not a boyfriend, but somehow he's a lot more than a fuck-buddy because boyfriend number 3 goes to extraordinary lengths to keep his other liaisons secret from this guy.
"I've got another idea," I say smiling, "why don't I buy you a gaydar membership? It's not something that'll be lying around your flat here, and I know that you'll use it!"
"No thank you," replies boyfriend number 3 firmly, "it's not something that I need".
"But you keep asking me to send you the pics from all the photo albums that you can't see as a gaydar guest," I protest, "if you had a membership you'd be able to see them all yourself :-)."
We let the matter drop but the following week, with time running out before my departure to Buenos Aires, I decide that a gaydar membership is the perfect gift. It's something that he'd never buy for himself, something that he'll get a lot of use out of, and something that fits all his other requirements in terms of being undetectable to his main man!
Having arranged to upgrade his gaydar account for six months, I send him a gaydar message to let him know, and to wish him Happy Christmas :-). But the next day I get a txt msg:
boyfriend number 3: Please undo what you have done, it is not something that I want :-(
Oh dear! I try contacting him by txt msg, by email, by gaydar, and I even consider phoning him on his mobile phone which is always dangerous in case he's with his man. He ignores everything. I guess it was foolish to give him something he explicitly said he didn't want :-(.
"Why? Why did you do it?" he asks me when he finally lets me visit him a month later, a couple of days after my return from Argentina, "you knew I'd be annoyed didn't you?"
"Yes, well, but I thought that once you'd seen how useful it was," I start, "and I mean, its invisible to that guy you're seeing, and well, I just thought ..."
"Well," interrupts boyfriend number 3 smiling now, "don't do it again, all right!!"
"Yes sir," I reply submissively.
"Although I admit it is useful!" he giggles.
Rolling forward a few months, it's now April, two months ago, and once again I'm visiting boyfriend number 3 on a weekday lunchtime.
"So what do you want for your birthday?" I ask him while we're cuddling up after the customary activities. "Perhaps I could renew your gaydar membership, it must be about to expire?"
"Hmmm, yes but you can't be the boy who buys me my gaydar membership all the time," says boyfriend number 3.
"Why not? Well what DO you want then?"
"I don't know, you know me, I'm pretty self-sufficient and I don't really need anything!"
"You said that last time," I laugh, giving him a big squeeze.
As I'm about to leave, I confirm with him that he absolutely doesn't want me to renew his gaydar membership, under any circumstances.
"No, definitely not," he says with real fire in his eyes.
"OK sure :-(. Well then, I promise that I definitely won't renew it for you, never, ever, not in a million years, not even if you kneel in front of me and beg me to!"
"Perfect," says boyfriend number 3 smiling.
We kiss each other goodbye and I head for my waiting taxi.
But the following month, I spot him on gaydar one weekend, so we start chatting to catch up with each other.
GB: so how's that web site that you're working on going?
boyfriend number 3: slowly! it's still not finished ...
GB: well I'm keen to see it when it's all done
[pause]
boyfriend number 3: GB
GB: uh huh
boyfriend number 3: can I ask you something?
GB: sure, what?
boyfriend number 3: you know my gaydar membership
GB: yes, you made me promise not to renew it under any circumstances, even if you asked me to!
I can tell that I'm going to enjoy this so I may as well make the most of it!
boyfriend number 3: well, yes, I know, but it's about to run out
GB: of course, 6 month memberships tend to do that after 6 months!
boyfriend number 3: the thing is, I can't have anything like that on my bank or credit card statements, you know, in case the guy I'm seeing were to find it
GB: so you want me to break my promise to you do you?
boyfriend number 3: well, I guess I've been a bit foolish, could you renew for me please, but I'll pay you back next time I see you so you're not really buying it for me because you'll get the money
Boyfriend number 3 knows that the money is irrelevent to me, but I guess promising to pay me back makes him feel better about the situation. He knows I can't refuse him. But at least I'll probably be able to get a few extra favours the next time I see him :-). And I can also take some satisfaction because I was clearly right, it was the perfect Christmas present for him!
Boyfriend number 3 often seems to be a bit like this, a mass of loveable contradictions. But I've still got a problem. His birthday is now very very soon, I know the gaydar membership won't count as a present because he'll pay me back, so what on earth can I get him?
"I don't know what you can get me for Christmas," says boyfriend number 3 on one of my lunchtime visits in early November. "You know me, I'm pretty self-sufficient so I don't really need anything."
"I've got an idea," I say mischievously, "I think you'd get a lot of use out of a pair of hand-cuffs :-). Do you want reinforced steel ones, or how about fluffy pink?"But he looks at me frostily, not at all amused. "I definitely don't want things like that lying around, in case the guy I'm seeing finds them and wants to know where they came from!"
Sometimes I find boyfriend number 3's attitude to this guy exasperating! He says he's not a boyfriend, but somehow he's a lot more than a fuck-buddy because boyfriend number 3 goes to extraordinary lengths to keep his other liaisons secret from this guy.
"I've got another idea," I say smiling, "why don't I buy you a gaydar membership? It's not something that'll be lying around your flat here, and I know that you'll use it!"
"No thank you," replies boyfriend number 3 firmly, "it's not something that I need".
"But you keep asking me to send you the pics from all the photo albums that you can't see as a gaydar guest," I protest, "if you had a membership you'd be able to see them all yourself :-)."
We let the matter drop but the following week, with time running out before my departure to Buenos Aires, I decide that a gaydar membership is the perfect gift. It's something that he'd never buy for himself, something that he'll get a lot of use out of, and something that fits all his other requirements in terms of being undetectable to his main man!
Having arranged to upgrade his gaydar account for six months, I send him a gaydar message to let him know, and to wish him Happy Christmas :-). But the next day I get a txt msg:
boyfriend number 3: Please undo what you have done, it is not something that I want :-(
Oh dear! I try contacting him by txt msg, by email, by gaydar, and I even consider phoning him on his mobile phone which is always dangerous in case he's with his man. He ignores everything. I guess it was foolish to give him something he explicitly said he didn't want :-(.
"Why? Why did you do it?" he asks me when he finally lets me visit him a month later, a couple of days after my return from Argentina, "you knew I'd be annoyed didn't you?"
"Yes, well, but I thought that once you'd seen how useful it was," I start, "and I mean, its invisible to that guy you're seeing, and well, I just thought ..."
"Well," interrupts boyfriend number 3 smiling now, "don't do it again, all right!!"
"Yes sir," I reply submissively.
"Although I admit it is useful!" he giggles.
Rolling forward a few months, it's now April, two months ago, and once again I'm visiting boyfriend number 3 on a weekday lunchtime.
"So what do you want for your birthday?" I ask him while we're cuddling up after the customary activities. "Perhaps I could renew your gaydar membership, it must be about to expire?"
"Hmmm, yes but you can't be the boy who buys me my gaydar membership all the time," says boyfriend number 3.
"Why not? Well what DO you want then?"
"I don't know, you know me, I'm pretty self-sufficient and I don't really need anything!"
"You said that last time," I laugh, giving him a big squeeze.
As I'm about to leave, I confirm with him that he absolutely doesn't want me to renew his gaydar membership, under any circumstances.
"No, definitely not," he says with real fire in his eyes.
"OK sure :-(. Well then, I promise that I definitely won't renew it for you, never, ever, not in a million years, not even if you kneel in front of me and beg me to!"
"Perfect," says boyfriend number 3 smiling.
We kiss each other goodbye and I head for my waiting taxi.
But the following month, I spot him on gaydar one weekend, so we start chatting to catch up with each other.
GB: so how's that web site that you're working on going?
boyfriend number 3: slowly! it's still not finished ...
GB: well I'm keen to see it when it's all done
[pause]
boyfriend number 3: GB
GB: uh huh
boyfriend number 3: can I ask you something?
GB: sure, what?
boyfriend number 3: you know my gaydar membership
GB: yes, you made me promise not to renew it under any circumstances, even if you asked me to!
I can tell that I'm going to enjoy this so I may as well make the most of it!
boyfriend number 3: well, yes, I know, but it's about to run out
GB: of course, 6 month memberships tend to do that after 6 months!
boyfriend number 3: the thing is, I can't have anything like that on my bank or credit card statements, you know, in case the guy I'm seeing were to find it
GB: so you want me to break my promise to you do you?
boyfriend number 3: well, I guess I've been a bit foolish, could you renew for me please, but I'll pay you back next time I see you so you're not really buying it for me because you'll get the money
Boyfriend number 3 knows that the money is irrelevent to me, but I guess promising to pay me back makes him feel better about the situation. He knows I can't refuse him. But at least I'll probably be able to get a few extra favours the next time I see him :-). And I can also take some satisfaction because I was clearly right, it was the perfect Christmas present for him!
Boyfriend number 3 often seems to be a bit like this, a mass of loveable contradictions. But I've still got a problem. His birthday is now very very soon, I know the gaydar membership won't count as a present because he'll pay me back, so what on earth can I get him?
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
My second day off work
The weather isn't much better than yesterday and I've resorted to tidying up the study. Still I mustn't complain about the weather as we seem to be coming off lightly compared to other parts of the UK. Had a wank this morning whilst chatting on the fone to a guy I hooked up with on gay.com and watching some amateur vids over at xtube. It was pretty horny listening to him tell me what to do - he had me finger fucking my ass while I wanked. Needless to say I came quite heavily and then licked myself clean rather than wiping my cum up - tasted good.
Found these two photos on my PC as well:
Found these two photos on my PC as well:
Monday, June 25, 2007
I don't invent the 'Dear GB' emails!
In a comment to my most recent posting in the 'Dear GB' category, a guy calling himself Stephen suggested earlier today that perhaps I make up the 'Dear GB' emails. I was drafting a response to him when I realised that this is an important question, so I'm going to devote an entire post to answer this.
The answer is NO, I have never made up any of the 'Dear GB' emails. If any of them feel similar it'll be because I sometimes make some changes to improve clarity or English grammar. I also always edit the start to 'Dear GB' because apart from one occasion, people always begin their emails differently (e.g. Hi GB). But I do try and preserve the style of the author where possible.
In terms of the situations, so far I think they've all been pretty distinct. In particular, this recent one seemed very different to me. The next 'Dear GB' though ("Email from a gay guy with relationship issues"), which I'll hopefully get round to later this week, is a very similar situation to another recent 'Dear GB' email. But the one after that will definitely be different because it's from a young woman. As everyone will see when I post the response to that one, I've been in correspondence with another young woman who previously wrote me a 'Dear GB' email, because I felt I needed a woman's view to do a good job.
Regarding the most recent posting which Stephen queried, the guy who sent me the emails has now identified himself as Robert by leaving a comment. I am grateful because I don't like to have my integrity questioned, and I can certainly confirm that Robert was the name on the emails that I received. But he shouldn't have been put in the situation where he felt that he needed to support me. In fact I was having supper with Dragonzlad when Robert's second email arrived. Dragonzlad had just gone to the men's room in between courses, and I checked my emails on my PDA while he was away. On his return I took him into my confidence and showed him the email to get his view on the situation.
Anyway, I don't understand why anyone would think I'd make them up? Does anyone think I don't have enough to blog about?
The 'Dear GB' concept all started when I received a few unsolicited emails asking for advice. Because they were interesting situations, I asked for the author's permission to post their emails and my responses. The people who sent me the emails seemed to like my responses, so underneath my e-mail address in the column on the right here I added a line saying that people can email me for advice. I now seem to be getting more and more such emails, and at one point last week there were four pending 'Dear GB' emails. Perhaps it's getting a bit out of hand because I'm a banker, not a professional counsellor!
'Dear GB' is just me trying to be a good gay guy, providing free advice to anyone who thinks I may be able to help them. In a similar way, in another attempt to be a good gay guy, I got the fee from The Guardian piece that I wrote as 'GB' donated to the Terrace Higgins Trust. Obviously I mustn't divulge any of the names or contact details of the people who've sent me 'Dear GB' emails, but if anyone doubts me on the THT donation and wants to email me, I could tell them who to speak to at the THT to confirm that The Guardian charity donation occurred. (In any case, the online version of The Guardian article also says that the donation occurred).
So when I do a 'Dear GB' posting, please can everyone try and leave comments, because these are real people sending me these emails. I don't claim to be any good at writing the responses, and I certainly don't have any counselling qualifications either, but there's one claim that I will make here. I don't invent these emails for the fun of it, so if nothing else, I do think that I have some integrity!
The answer is NO, I have never made up any of the 'Dear GB' emails. If any of them feel similar it'll be because I sometimes make some changes to improve clarity or English grammar. I also always edit the start to 'Dear GB' because apart from one occasion, people always begin their emails differently (e.g. Hi GB). But I do try and preserve the style of the author where possible.
In terms of the situations, so far I think they've all been pretty distinct. In particular, this recent one seemed very different to me. The next 'Dear GB' though ("Email from a gay guy with relationship issues"), which I'll hopefully get round to later this week, is a very similar situation to another recent 'Dear GB' email. But the one after that will definitely be different because it's from a young woman. As everyone will see when I post the response to that one, I've been in correspondence with another young woman who previously wrote me a 'Dear GB' email, because I felt I needed a woman's view to do a good job.
Regarding the most recent posting which Stephen queried, the guy who sent me the emails has now identified himself as Robert by leaving a comment. I am grateful because I don't like to have my integrity questioned, and I can certainly confirm that Robert was the name on the emails that I received. But he shouldn't have been put in the situation where he felt that he needed to support me. In fact I was having supper with Dragonzlad when Robert's second email arrived. Dragonzlad had just gone to the men's room in between courses, and I checked my emails on my PDA while he was away. On his return I took him into my confidence and showed him the email to get his view on the situation.
Anyway, I don't understand why anyone would think I'd make them up? Does anyone think I don't have enough to blog about?
The 'Dear GB' concept all started when I received a few unsolicited emails asking for advice. Because they were interesting situations, I asked for the author's permission to post their emails and my responses. The people who sent me the emails seemed to like my responses, so underneath my e-mail address in the column on the right here I added a line saying that people can email me for advice. I now seem to be getting more and more such emails, and at one point last week there were four pending 'Dear GB' emails. Perhaps it's getting a bit out of hand because I'm a banker, not a professional counsellor!
'Dear GB' is just me trying to be a good gay guy, providing free advice to anyone who thinks I may be able to help them. In a similar way, in another attempt to be a good gay guy, I got the fee from The Guardian piece that I wrote as 'GB' donated to the Terrace Higgins Trust. Obviously I mustn't divulge any of the names or contact details of the people who've sent me 'Dear GB' emails, but if anyone doubts me on the THT donation and wants to email me, I could tell them who to speak to at the THT to confirm that The Guardian charity donation occurred. (In any case, the online version of The Guardian article also says that the donation occurred).
So when I do a 'Dear GB' posting, please can everyone try and leave comments, because these are real people sending me these emails. I don't claim to be any good at writing the responses, and I certainly don't have any counselling qualifications either, but there's one claim that I will make here. I don't invent these emails for the fun of it, so if nothing else, I do think that I have some integrity!
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