It became clear to me last month, when discussing my boyfriends with Close Encounters, that I need to find alternative potential boyfriends to boyfriend P. Although I love boyfriend P, and I think to some extent he loves me too, I'm definitely not the only man in his life. So like any good banker looking after a portfolio of investments, I need to diversify!
The following weekend I'm doing some work at home, so I decide to log onto to the usual two gay chat sites that I used to use, namely gaydar and gay.com. Initially I focus on my work, but when I take a break I notice that there's a guy nearby who's put a message into one of the chat rooms looking for someone local. I bring up his profile and he looks really cute, in fact he wouldn't look out of place as the star of a porn movie! I decide to try my luck, so I open a private chat window with the guy who turns out to be called M:
GB: hi mate, I'm not far from you
M: where r u?
M: stats?
M: whats u into?
M: face pic?
Blimey mate, slow down, we've only just met each other! I answer some of his questions, and tell him where to find my pics on the Internet.
M: nice
GB: although I'm close to you, I can't accom
M: cool
M: im lookin for quick sex
M: u come over, we play, u leave
Wow, this guy is very direct, no beating around the bush with him! I'm sure that I'd be able to focus on my work much better after visiting him, so I find his suggestion hard to resist.
GB: that's fine, I'd love to visit you for a quick session mate
M: is that ok
GB: yeah, sure :-)
M: whats ur HIV status?
I always find it amazing how little I get asked this question when I'm cruising online. I'll often ask the question myself, but being asked instead makes me happy because it shows that the guy is smart, and meeting up with smart guys is always more fun. Although a guy may not know his HIV status, I still think it's a good question to ask because sometimes a guy will know that he's HIV positive and be honest about it, so sometimes it does help prevent mistakes.
GB: I'm HIV negative
GB: u?
M: cool
M: same
GB: so where exactly r u?
M: how hung?
Occasionally when chatting online there's that kind of disruption to the natural conversation flow, where both guys ask something at the same time. On this occasion I reckon my question is much smarter than his, why do guys worry about that so much? Still, I don't mind revealing such an intimate detail to a complete stranger as long as he does the same! We swap measurements and then he tells me where he lives.
M: u know where that is?
GB: i'll search google maps, hang on
M: u have a car? how u gettin here
GB: I'll grab a cab so won't take long. u got a mobile number?
M: yes
M: but dont give, i have a bf
M: need discretion
GB: no worries mate, I am very discrete (have bf too!)
Of course the truth is that my boyfriend situation is rather complicated, but he doesn't need to know that!
M: how long u need
GB: 30 mins max, hopefully sooner
M: 30 min is too long
M: sorry
M: some other time then
What?? After all this, how long did he expect me to take? In my experience it's extremely rare to find someone online who can meet more quickly than that. Perhaps I'm too honest in these situations, simply because I hate giving false impressions. Maybe I should say 15 minutes and then take half an hour or more, which is the sloppy attitude that some guys seem to adopt!
GB: It'll probably be sooner mate
M: make it quick
M: see ya
M: bye
Ahhh, so perhaps I can visit after all :-)? However, saying "make it quick" so soon after "some other time" seems quite contradictory. I hate being stood up so I want a clear answer before I set off.
GB: u want me to come or not? I've got your address, I'll make it quick, but I don't want a wasted journey
M: forget it
M: some other time
Damm!! Ahhh well, better to find out now rather than arrive and find out that he's not there! In these situations I don't think that it's cool to try and get the guy to change his mind, I reckon it's much better to be polite and hope that some future liaison might be possible.
GB: ok take care
GB: bye for now x
M: gotta study
M: u too
M: xxx
So he's got to study? The change of mind might make sense if he had to go out soon, but not if he's staying in studying!
I stay logged into the chat rooms, but reluctantly I close the chat window with M and return to my work. However, 3 minutes later, a chat windows suddenly pops up at me:
M: hey, u still there
M: how quickly could u get here
GB: 20-30 mins
M: ok, why dont u come over
GB: great, see you soon x
I guess that for some reason he'd been in two mind about meeting me, but eventually his natural urges got the better of him!
Since it's summer, I don't need to get a coat or anything so I head out immediately to find a cab. Twenty minutes later and I'm buzzing his flat at the building where he lives:
"Yeah?" says a voice on the other end of the intercom.
"Hi, it's GB," but before I can say anything else ...
"Top floor!"
I hear the door buzzing, and pushing it hard, I'm soon inside. It turns out that it's a five storey building and there isn't a lift, but none the less it's not long before I'm knocking at his door. The door opens slightly and a cute face smiles out at me.
"You got up here quickly :-)," says M in an American accent.
"Well I think I'm reasonably fit :-)," I say smiling back, "a few stairs don't bother me!"
Face to face he looks just as good as he did in the pics that I'd seen online, if not better. Once inside, I see that he's only wearing a pure white dressing gown. I imagine that he's not wearing much underneath, so I start to take my t-shirt off while he's closing the door.
"Not wasting any time I see :-)," he says approvingly, looking me up and down.
The flat consists of just two main rooms, a bedroom at the back, and a living area which includes the kitchen at the front. I follow him into the bedroom where I spot a large table covered with books with a laptop in the middle. No doubt he had been studying, just like he said.
"Can I put my clothes on that chair?" I ask, pointing at the chair in front of the table.
"Oh sure, leave them anywhere".
I sit down to take my shoes off, and when I look up M's lying naked on the bed, slowly playing with himself. I can certainly tell that he's pleased to see me!
"Wow, you're not wasting any time either :-)."
Looking at his fit body, I decide that he must quite a keen member of a gym somewhere. I feel like I'm participating in a porn movie.
"Just join me when you're ready," he replies in quite a relaxed voice now, "no hurry."
Soon I'm naked too so I hop onto the bed and start touching him.
"Do you have sensitive nipples?" I say, rubbing them gently.
"Mmmmm, yes :-)" replies M.
Gradually we get more and more involved with each other, and we have a wonderful time with together. But it's over all too quickly.
"Phew, that was GOOD!", says M, panting slightly.
We lay there for a short while, relaxing.
"So I guess you're boyfriend doesn't know that you meet guys like me!" I say to him.
"No," says M firmly, "Actually he's very funny about this kind of thing. But I reckon that sex outside a relationship is like dessert, a nice extra that compliments the main course! The boyfriend doesn't need to know about this, and what he doesn't know won't hurt him. For example, it's nice to meet older guys like you sometimes for diversity :-)."
"That's exactly the way I think about relationships," I say, "but so many guys seem hooked on the idea of monogamy for some reason, it's crazy!"
"Yeah I know."
"Can I have a quick glass of water before I go?" I ask, getting up to put my clothes back on.
"Sure."
M gets up and strolls naked into the living area to get to the kitchen, and soon returns with a glass of mineral water, still looking quite horny!
"Thanks :-)," I say, "What's your boyfriend like anyway?"
"Oh he's mid 20's like me, a very fit gym jock type, actually his body is a bit too perfect! I'm not sure that I'll be with him much longer though."
"Really?" I ask, "What's the matter?"
"He limits himself so much, because he only likes gay male company. Everywhere he goes has to be gay, gay bars, gay gyms, and if I try to go out with him to a restaurant or something which isn't gay he's visibly uncomfortable. I'm gay, sure, so I like having sex with other guys and I want boyfriends but that's it. I don't need to live my whole life in the gay ghetto! What about you anyway, does your boyfriend know what you get up to?"
"Actually I'm splitting up with my London boyfriend," I say.
"Sorry to hear that."
"Yeah, well, I've actually got another boyfriend who lives abroad so life's a bit complicated at the moment!"
M looks fascinated, but I don't feel like discussing it at the moment so I try to change the subject.
"Anyway, what are you studying for?"
"Oh, it's these FSA exams that I've got to pass :-(, they're a real bore!"
"FSA? I guess you work for a bank then?"
"Yeah, why?"
"I did those exams too when I started work in the City. I also work for a bank!"
"Really?"
"Anyway, I'd better be going? As I recall, you just wanted a quick visit!"
"Errr yeah, thanks for coming over :-)," says M looking as though he wished I could stay a bit longer, "Let's keep in touch, eh :-)? Hope to see you again sometime?"
"Yes definitely :-)," I say, "I'll look out for you online!"
Sitting in a cab going back home, I realise that in many ways it was a perfect encounter. A bit of fun with a genuinely gorgeous guy, and then when we got chatting with each other afterwards we really seemed to click. I still love boyfriend P of course, but just as M says, sometimes it's nice to have a tasty dessert :-)!
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