One morning a few days ago, I wake up in bed next to a new friend. Outside I can hear the familiar happy sound of the dawn chorus :-). Inside, however, every now and then I can hear my new friend sniffle slightly :-(."Are you awake," I ask quietly, moving over to put my arm around his mostly naked body.
"Uh huh," he replies lazily, "but trying to get back to sleep again!"
"Good idea :-), but are you OK?" I ask sounding concerned, "it sounds like you've got a cold or something."
"Actually I think it's just hay fever. I guess I need to ejaculate again."
"What did you say?" I reply startled, "Did you say 'ejaculate'??"
"Yeah, apparently it's a cure for hay fever."
The warmth of his body feels so good next to mine. Slowly, I move the hand that's just started cuddling his chest down towards his legs.
"Well then," I say mischievously, "perhaps I can help cure your hay fever :-)".
But as soon as I start fondling him downstairs, his hand grabs my hand firmly and moves it back up to his chest again! I guess he's not in the mood for a hay fever cure :-(.
Later, I decide to do a bit of research online to see whether there's any truth in his theory that ejaculation cures hay fever. There seem to be several articles on this subject, most recently one in New Scientist with the title Masturbation could bring hay fever relief for men. Apparently, a neurologist called Sina Zarrintan from the Tabriz Medical University in Iran thinks that ejaculation should help hay fever because it causes constriction of blood vessels all over a man's body, including both genitals and nose. That should soothe the swollen nasal blood vessels that become irritated with hay fever, hence freeing the airway for normal breathing.
I don't know if it actually works, but one thing's for sure. I've got an interesting new chat-up line :-).
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