Last week, I got an email from the guy who emailed me last year about his difficult relationship. The email was as follows:
Dear GB,
Not sure whether you remember me but we corresponded a while ago. It must be about a year ago.
I was the one with the boyfriend trouble with the nice apartment where he stayed over and people was thinking that he was using me. :) Anyway he has moved out and we have a good understanding and I told him that we should be good friends etc.... He's moved out and all is well. We still see each other most weekend. I think it is nice to have some companionship in London. :)
Ok just to cut to the chase. I just had the guts to register on gaydar and have included pictures of my fit body. :) Have got a lot of response but as soon as they know my origin (Chinese) most of them just don't be bother anymore which sucks. A lot of guys have mention that I am sexy and look more mix than Chinese. Most of the guys that are interested are all older and I am not interested. :(
Anyway I just pick up this guy from gaydar today and we had sex. He was huge and I did not think I could accommodate. :) He was nice and gentle and so the experience was pleasant. The only think is that I am feeling weird about the whole situation. Maybe it is because this is my first experience on gaydar and trying out for a quick shag but I feel slightly sick about myself. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to experience but this may not be my type of thing.
I think gaydar is all about a quick shag. Do you know of any other website where gay guys in Finance/banking who earn a decent salary meet? Would you recommend match.com? Am actually looking more for a relationship and meeting nice guys.
xxx
It was good to hear that he'd solved his previous problem, and that he's now got the confidence to negotiate encounters with guys from gaydar :-). But judging from his email, he's the type of guy who prefers relationships to quick shags, and I think he's right that most of the guys who use gaydar are just after quick shags!
Now that he's branching out to meet other guys, he's discovering that a lot of younger British gay guys are much more inclined towards other British guys when it comes to choosing sexual partners, and often avoid guys who're ethnically Asian. Long time readers may recall that a student in Scotland emailed me about this problem last year. It's an unfortunate fact of gay culture in Britain and there's no easy solution.
For what it's worth, my own view is that guys are being narrow-minded if they just focus on their own ethnic group when looking for boyfriends and sexual partners. Part of the problem is that there's a lot to handle when one comes out as gay, so looking for guys from a similar background is easier because it's more comfortable. However, once a guy is comfortable with being gay, I think dating guys from other backgrounds and cultures is a good idea. I think gay relationships work best when there's some kind of complementarity between the two guys, and there's bound to be a lot of complementarity between them if they're from different ethnic backgrounds. So if the guy who sent me the email last week earns a decent salary in finance/banking, it might be better if he could find a struggling artist to be his boyfriend for example, rather than another guy with a decent salary in finance/banking!
None of my friends or readers of this blog have ever said anything to me about match.com, so on that basis I doubt that it's much good for gay dating. However, I've heard good things about outeverywhere.com, both from friends and blog readers. As a result, I recommended it last year when I got an email from a guy who's new to London. In terms of finding a boyfriend, it's probably a much better place to start than gaydar!
Do any other readers have any other thoughts for this guy?
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