A couple of rice queens

"All the guys that you're dating seem to be Asian," says an old friend of mine to me over dinner one night last week, "I think you're turning into a Rice Queen!"

"But I also like other Caucasians, Latinos, black guys," I protest, "it just happens that all the guys that I've been seeing recently are Asian. Anyway, you can talk, you live in Bangkok so if that term applies to anyone then it's you!"

"Oh yes, I'm definitely a Rice Queen," admits my friend with a smile on his face. "There's nothing wrong with liking Asian guys, but it's a one-way street you know! I don't know of any Caucasian guys who've ended up with non-Asian boyfriends once they realise that they like Asians."

Suddenly I notice that my friend has a white thread 'sai sin' bracelet tied round one of his wrists. I was given one too when I was in Thailand in January. Apparently the Thai belief is that they help keep one's good spirits close, as well as warding off the bad spirits. Although my 'sai sin' bracelet is a bit worn now, when he notices that I'm wearing one as well my friend smiles with an 'I told you so' look on his face.

"Interesting ...," I reply thoughtfully, realising that I'd have thrown away my 'sai sin' bracelet if I didn't feel comfortable with Asian customs. "Actually one thing that I like about Asian guys in general is that they're often very family oriented."

"Yes that's true. But Asian values also have their problems. You probably don't get them over here in London, but in Bangkok, some Thai gays with their Buddhist mind-set can be so focused on the present that it's almost impossible to plan anything for the future!"

"But why are you looking for a boyfriend?" continues my friend, "because you seem to be having a great time on your own at the moment."

"Maybe, but I do miss having a guy to share my life with me," I reply. "Also, I much prefer falling asleep and waking up with someone. Actually I sleep better when I’m with another guy. Well, not the first time because when I've got a new guy in bed to play with it's all just too exciting! But once I get used to him then I do sleep better :-). I've never worked out why that is."

"Probably the subconscious feeling of security that you get from having someone next to you!" replies my friend with another wise look on his face.

I'd never seriously thought of myself as a Rice Queen before, but I guess my friend is right because if I'm lucky enough to find myself a new boyfriend one day, then I think he is likely to be Asian.

But I also think I fall in love too easily. That was always my problem in the past, because although I loved ex-boyfriend S, I also fell in love with ex-boyfriend P at the same time. On top of that, I found myself loving more guys as well. Now, I think I've fallen for my friend T, and also for my friend who sometimes gets hayfever.

It's a problem actually, because I want them both to be happy. I also don't want to let either of them down. One good thing is that both of them seem quite relaxed about the concept of committed relationships which aren't monogamous. None the less, I don't think either of them would be happy being my boyfriend if I officially also had other boyfriends at the same time!