My kind of party!

The London Lesbian and Gay Film Festival

Yesterday was the last day of this year's London Lesbian and Gay Film Festival. In previous years I hadn't paid much attention to it, however this year Close Encounters asked me to go along and see three films with him. I was happy to accept his invitation :-).

The first film we saw was called Investigating Desire, a collection of seven short films ranging from 4 minutes in length to 20 minutes. It was a very eclectic mix but about half way through, during the short changeover period between two of the films, I feel I need to make an observation:

"Um," I whisper to Close Encounters, with a slight giggle in my voice, "this is basically pornography isn't it, dressed up as a set of arty films!"

"There's no grunting or groaning," replies Close Encounters quietly, ever the serious film buff, "so it can't be porn!"

Not that I'm complaining of course, I see nothing wrong with enjoying a bit of porn every now and then :-).

To my mind, the penultimate short film of the collection was the most unusual, and also in fact the shortest. It was called Dan's big hands and after the films before it, I thought I had a pretty good idea what Dan's big hands would be good at! It turned out to be a kind of video which accompanied a song. The song started out

I want to get lost in Dan's big hands,
Lose myself in Dan's big hands,
...

So far so good, but with lines like

Round my neck, tighter yet,

I ended up feeling very confused! Is that meant to be reference to Erotic asphyxiation??

The next film we went to see was called Fariytale of Kathmandu, which was a documentary about gay Irish poet Cathal Ó'Searcaigh on one of his visits to Kathmandu. It was a very disturbing film, because it turned out that Cathal Ó'Searcaigh spends his time there befriending boys who're only just over the legal age of consent. For sure he helps them by buying them things, that's the charitable work he does there, but then they seem to end up back in his hotel room for activities. Although many of the boys don't seem to mind too much, none the less it feels very much as though they're being taken advantage of. Indeed, the premise of the film is that although his behaviour is legal, nevertheless the relationship with the boys is an exploitative one, akin to or equal to sex tourism. Perhaps the most disturbing fact is that Cathal Ó'Searcaigh doesn't see anything wrong with his behaviour, otherwise he wouldn't have invited the filmmaker to Nepal with him!

Lastly, we went to the closing gala of the festival, where the film Baby Love was being shown. To my surprise, as we're sitting down a familiar voice suddenly says to me:

"Hey, GB, how you?"

To my surprise it's my colleague M, seated right behind us next to his new boyfriend! It's really good to see him, although so many scenarios suddenly start rushing through my mind. Close Encounters knows all about how I really met M, however M's new boyfriend just thinks that we know each other from work! And neither M or his boyfriend know about this blog of course!! What had we been discussing before M noticed me? Luckily, before the opportunity to give away any more secrets presents itself, the proceedings begin. There are a few speeches about how well the festival has gone, an interview with Vincent Garenq who directed the film we were about to see, and then finally the film itself.

Although the film addresses some serious issues, it's also a comedy. The plot is a bit contrived, engineered to make the happy ending possible, but none the less it's very enjoyable. In a nutshell, the gay pediatrician wants to be a father in spite of his boyfriend's strong veto, but eventually it all happens and all broken relationships get mended :-). It very much reminded me of my own paternal aspirations, although since I don't have a boyfriend now, I seem to be further away from that than ever :-(.

Luckily no opportunity for socialising arises after the film, and we bid farewell to my colleague M and his boyfriend almost as soon as we've stood up. Close Encounters needs to rush off, so I go out onto the street to find a taxi. Soon I'm travelling back home, but on the way when I turn my phone back on, I receive a txt msg from a nice guy that I met recently called V. He can go out on a date with me the following night after all, so I start feeling a bit happier. And in spite of the fact that I'm right back at the start with V with numerous hurdles to overcome, I feel even happier when I recall one particular fact about him. V has a lesbian sister, who therefore might one day might need a father for a child, and a friend or boyfriend of her gay brother might be an obvious choice! Even though I'm not getting any younger, there's still hope :-).

Cute pair

Twink and his toy!

NEW JOE SNYDER CAMOUFLAGE GEAR

When Jockstrap Central saw the new camouflage fabric, they loved it so much they decided to not just bring in the jockstrap, but also the cheek boxer, jock-string, and thong. They had just met their new model Stefano (a handsome fitness trainer) and just knew he was just the guy for this new gear. They were right!

All the new gear is constructed with Joe Snyder's signature s-t-r-e-t-c-h Plyamide/Lycra fabric that molds and forms to all your assets. Each of these four styles have unique design elements that Stefano shows off to perfection.

The Stretch Jockstrap has a peek-a-boo pouch design with a slit between the waistband and pouch, convenient when you get so excited from wearing this sexy gear.

The Cheek Boxer has a contoured front pouch and the back side is cut high and has a rear center seam that clearly defines each cheek.

The Jock String marries the styling of a jock with it's wider front pouch and dual back string straps, but with an adjustable loop that joins the leg straps keeping the straps centered between your cheeks.

And finally, the Thong has a classic thong back but has a very narrow front pouch perfect for those who like to point to the sky.

Be sure to check out the new gear and all the delicious new photos of Stefano over at Jockstrap Central.

The World's Most Dangerous Sex Toy

A couple from Lexington Park Maryland surely win the prize for the most dangerous and downright stupid homemade sex toy. They decided to attach a dildo to an electric Sabre saw. If that wasn't foolhardy enough in itself, they then went one stage further. Instead of carefully crafting a custom attachment to fix the dildo to the mechanism of the saw the less than intelligent couple just stuck the dildo on the end of the saw blade. The result was a visit to the hospital, some very awkward questions and I reckon no bedroom antics for quite some time

Email from a guy who wants a boyfriend

A few weeks ago, I received the following email from a guy that seems to be a relatively new reader:

Dear GB,

Let me begin with how I found your blog in the first place: by searching under "monogamous gay relationships" on google in hopes of finding a dating site where gay men are not just looking for sex! Your blog came up. I loved the posting on the Paris trip!

Now, some background: I am a 29-year old guy living in Geneva, Switzerland. I 'm Canadian and moved here for my current job, which has me in a banking environment – all be it in a very small office with little contact to the outside world. I've been out since my mid-twenties – to family, friends, and all who care to know.

I am desperately (big word) yearning to meet someone with whom I can share every day life. Sex too. But I find that lately, I am more and more turned off from the gay scene, from casual sex, and from gay dating sites which merely provide a home to those looking mostly for sex. I guess I'm just really low key, and I'd love to find someone similar. I want everything that the quiet good straight girl dreams about – including the guy ;)

Before I come off as a sob case, I should preface the preceding paragraph with a few facts: I am searching for a cute, handsome, intelligent, professional guy that can flirt with me mentally AND physically. I just can't seem to find one. And also – if he's Jewish and English speaking, that'd be even better! Finding one that I like, and that likes me – a needle in a haystack!

I don't have many gay friends, and my social circle in Geneva is quite small – like the city itself. I am open to meeting guys in other cities – Zurich, Paris, London – wherever – but they seem less open to meeting anyone outside their own. And why should they? There's plenty around them!

Tell me: where can this picky-come-desperate mama's boy find his man?

On the face of it, this email seems a lot like the email that I posted last week. However, the situations of the readers who sent the emails are completely different. Last week, the reader's problem was more that he wasn't yet comfortable being gay. However the reader here has a different problem.

Many years ago before I met ex-boyfriend S, I had a very fixed idea of the kind of guy that I wanted for a boyfriend, much like the reader here. However, when I fell in love with ex-boyfriend S he had few of the characteristics that I originally thought I wanted. Even though he was smart, he hadn't been to university, so he didn't have a profession like I did. Like the reader here, I'd been looking for someone with a similar background to me, but the guy I ended up with was completely different!

I'm not suggesting that the reader should lower his standards at all. But I am suggesting that he should be open to many more types of boyfriend that he's probably open to at the moment. No doubt this reader is Jewish, so as an example, a nice Muslim boyfriend would be a much better idea :-). I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before but my ex-boyfriend P was raised as a Muslim, and although I'm not Jewish, I was raised as a Christian. Similarly, my ex-boyfriend R is Hindu.

I think there's often some truth in the idea that opposites attract. For gay relationships where the gender of the people involved is the same that means that it's good if the two guys come from different backgrounds, or grew up in different countries for example. Of course they need to have things in common too, but I don't think it's good to have too strong idea of what kind of boyfriend one wants, or to go looking for someone who's very too similar to oneself.

I'm a big fan of playing the numbers game, and meeting as many guys as possible in as many different ways as possible, and seeing what happens. I also think it's important to be relaxed and cool. Indeed, the last sentence of the reader's email summarises his problem. "Picky" and "Desperate" are both very unattractive in a potential boyfriend. On top of that, "Picky" narrows the field unnecessarily. So if he is desperate he needs to chill out.

Bigger cities like London, San Francisco and Sydney may have more gay guys living in them, but that doesn't necessarily help. Ex-boyfriend P used to think that in cities where there are lots of gay guys, the abundance of choice means that most guys can never commit to relationships, because however good a potential boyfriend is it's always possible that one might meet an even better candidate the following day! So as a capital city which isn't too big, I'd have thought that Geneva would be a great place to meet a boyfriend.

I guess I'm just saying relax, open up, and try and meet as many guys and types of guys as possible, especially guys from different cultures and backgrounds. But do any other readers have any thoughts on this subject?