Holding hands

In India, one sometimes sees two guys holding hands walking along the street who are just good friends. But in Western countries, two guys holding hands in public definitely implies a gay relationship. I've always liked holding hands with my boyfriends, although I think I'm a bit keener on it than any of them are, because they're worried about being openly gay.

Boyfriend number 1 isn't usually very keen at all. But when we're in well known gay areas like Soho in London or the Castro in San Francisco, he'll be OK with it for a short while. Elsewhere when we're walking along the pavement together, I'll sometimes find a way of playfully slipping his hand into mine, but he'll usually pull his hand away and look at me in a disapproving way.

I think boyfriend number 2 likes the idea of holding hands with me in public, although in practice he doesn't always seem to be comfortable with it. These days, when we're on the back seat of taxis together we'll usually hold hands, although he sometimes wants to put our hands under a bag or something to make it less obvious. And walking along the street he seems to have a similar attitude to boyfriend number 1, although with a bit less aversion.

Whenever I'm walking along holding hands with a boyfriend, I always think back to a comment I heard when I was at university. We'd managed to get an MP to come and give a light-hearted talk to some of the graduates, and afterwards, the MP's wife was talking about some of the students who'd been at the talk.

"Honestly, I don't know what's the matter with them," she starts, "all those [straight] couples seated along the back".

"How do you mean?" I ask.

"Well some of them were holding each other's hands throughout my husband's speech," she continues, "I mean, they're not teenagers any more! Are they really that insecure that have to hold hands wherever they go?"

At the time I was still hadn't come out to myself properly, and without a girlfriend or a boyfriend, I thought that having someone who'd be happy to hold my hand was a very nice idea. But she seemed to think it signified deep insecurity in their personalities.

Although she does have a point, there is another reason for gay guys to hold hands, and that is to make gay people more visible in everyday society. But to be honest, that's not why I like holding hands. Apart from enjoying the intimacy, I'm usually feeling happy whenever I'm with a boyfriend, and holding hands is just one little way of letting the world know that I'm glad we're together :-).