A weekend away with boyfriend number 2

The first Monday in May was a bank holiday in the UK, so I took the opportunity to have a long weekend and visit boyfriend number 2. Boyfriend number 2 lives in a different country and I hadn't seen him since the holiday we had together in Argentina last December.

We had decided to spend one day together in the city, and then hire a car and head out to a spa hotel in the nearby countryside. Luckily we'd managed to find a hotel that employs a few male therapist in their spa, unlike various other Spa hotels that I've visited in the past!

Having looked at their Spa menu online, Boyfriend number 2 was keen to get me to do a massage session designed for couples with him, but would the hotel be happy doing that for a gay male couple? I decide that it would be best to ask in advance, so towards the end of the day in the city I phone them up:

"Hi is that the Spa?" I ask, having been put through from the main switchboard.

"Yes Sir, how can I help you today?" says a polite female voice.

"We'll be staying in your hotel over the weekend," I start, "and we'd like to have the couples massage that you offer. Can we make a booking please, if possible with two of your male therapists?"

It turns out that they're quite booked up, especially since we want two male therapists, however they're able to fit us in towards the end of the second day that we'll be there.

"And is there anything else I can help you with today sir?"

"Just one thing," I say confidently, "we're a male couple, and since we're having a massage together I just thought that you should know :-)".

"That's fine sir," replies the receptionist without flinching, "we look forward to welcoming you both to the spa".

Good, as expected, it's not a problem!

Neither of us had been to this hotel before, but it turns out to be a good choice. And over dinner with boyfriend number 2 on our first night there, I ask him about his love life.

"So are you still dating," I ask him, "and trying to find a full time boyfriend?"

"Well to be honest GB, I don't know if that's possible any more!"

"How do you mean?"

"Well, I've usually very busy with my job, I'm in contact with you most days with emails or on the phone, and I've got lots of friends now too. If I can see you occasionally like this, how can I fit in a full time boyfriend?"

Although I'm very happy that he values me as a part time boyfriend, I do worry that having taken that role I'm somehow preventing him from finding a guy who'll be able to share his life with him more consistently that I can.

Overall, we have a great time at the spa hotel together. The massage session for couples is great, all the hotel staff are very friendly, and the hotel itself is tucked away in a beautiful part of the countryside.

"So I'll miss you being next to me tonight when I'm on the plane," I tell boyfriend number 2 as we're driving back to the city.

"But at least you'll have boyfriend number 1 the night after," says boyfriend number 2 sounding upset, "the next few nights will be tough for me without you."

Oh dear :-(. This is a situation entirely of my own construction. There's no deception of course, because boyfriend number 2 knows about all my other boyfriends and liaisons. I've also never pretended to him that I could become a full time boyfriend, although I certainly do wish that I could see him more often. But thinking about some of the things that he said, I can't help wondering whether he secretly hopes that one day we'll be able to live together full time. Although I can think of some scenarios where that might happen, all of them seem very unlikely at the moment. He's a lovely, beautiful, sensitive, caring guy, but by agreeing that we're part-time boyfriends, am I playing with his affections?