A humbling visit to boyfriend number 3

"I tried looking for that web site that you're designing," I tell boyfriend number 3 on a recent visit, "and I couldn't find it."

"Uh huh," says boyfriend number 3, looking down at me slightly bemused.

I'm sitting sideways on his sofa, wearing nothing except my undershorts, with my legs propped up apart in front of me.

"What was the web site address I told you?" he asks me with a quizzical grin on his face.

I tell him the address and he smiles, shaking his head at me.

"What? Is that the wrong address then?" I ask, looking confused.

"You're mad, you know that don't you!"

"Why?"

He lifts a large mirror off a shelf and turns it to face me, and looks me in the eye with an 'I told you so' smile on his face. Glancing into the mirror I realise that my undershorts are a bit threadbare underneath, with holes showing through. Closing my legs to try and hide the holes, I grin at him like a little child that's been caught out, hoping for a bit of sympathy.

"Completely mad!" he says laughing now. "You know that I'm doing this web site for the guy that I'm seeing, and that I'm completely paranoid about him finding out about you, but you sit there in comically worn-out underwear and ask me why the web site address that I gave you doesn't work!"

I try to think of a response, but soon I'm laughing too.

"Shhhhh, I don't want the neighbours to know that I've got a man in my apartment!" he says coming over and putting his hand over my mouth. For a few seconds I giggle uncontrollably through his hand.

"I don't know," he says looking at my face closely now, "what on earth am I going to do with you?"

Then, seemingly from nowhere, he picks up some tweezers and before I can defend myself he's plucked out a couple of small hairs out that had been growing harmlessly in between my eye-brows.

"Owwww," I complain, "that hurts!"

"There, that's better :-)," he says with a satisfied tone in his voice, before giving me a quick kiss. "It's all a façade isn't it," he continues, grinning at me, "you pretend to come round here wanting to ravage my body when all you're really after is my grooming skills!"

"Thanks," I say, rubbing the sore area where the offending hairs used to be, but none the less feeling grateful for the attention.

"Well, if boyfriend number 1 and boyfriend number 2 aren't going to look after you properly, I guess it comes down to me!"