Monogamy? A cautionary tale ...

Patrick had been with his boyfriend Colin for five years now and was happy. Although he knew that his previous boyfriend Gary had loved and cared for him enormously, Gary had always been evasive when the subject of monogamy was raised.

"But why do you think that monogamy is so important?" Gary would ask, "Don't you think that I love you? Don't you think that you're my top priority all the time?"

"I know you love me and everything," Patrick would reply, "It's just that I saw what my father's infidelity did to my mother, it almost destroyed her :-(. I always swore to myself that I wouldn't let that happen to me!"

Eventually Patrick decided that he had to find a boyfriend who could commit to monogamy, and so by mutual consent Gary and Patrick went their separate ways. It didn’t take Patrick long to find a nice guy called Colin who also wanted an uncomplicated monogamous relationship.

Although the honeymoon period of his relationship with Colin was a long time ago now, the two of them had settled into a comfortable every day existence which didn't give Patrick any cause for concern. He knew that the split with Gary had been the right decision. Monogamy was just so important to him.

One day, Colin came home to Patrick with some good news.

"Guess what, I've just been head-hunted!" announces Colin, "I'm not sure yet whether I'll be offered the job but I've got an excellent chance. It would mean that I'll have to travel to Asia on business regularly, but it's a much better role! The new firm has also got a much better profile that my current firm so I think I should go for it :-)."

"Yes I guess," replies Patrick, "but I'll miss you terribly when you're away :-(. Anyway, I know I can trust you :-)."

After a series of hard interviews, Colin gets offered the job and soon he finds himself travelling to Hong Kong or Singapore every month or two. But as time passes, doubts start to arise in Patrick's mind.

"Where were you when I phoned you in your hotel around 11pm three nights ago?" asks Patrick after Colin has just returned from a trip to Singapore, "I thought you said that you had to work on a presentation for the following day!"

"The clients insisted on going to that girlie bar Top Ten," laughs Colin, "well of course I didn't want to go but I didn't have any choice!"

"Anyway," continues Colin, "where were YOU when I phoned yesterday morning? You've always got your iPhone with you when I'm around!"

"Actually I did have it with me," explains Patrick, "but I'd forgotten to put it on charge the night before and I didn't realise that it was out of power until the afternoon."

Much more time passes.

Years later, by chance Gary spots his ex-boyfriend Patrick on the street.

"Wow it's Patrick isn't it?" says Gary with a huge smile on his face, touching Patrick on the shoulder to grab his attention, "I haven't seen you for YEARS! How's that boyfriend Colin :-)?"

"Oh, well, we split up ages ago," replies Patrick looking mildly upset by the subject.

"Really? What went wrong?"

"Well, Colin started travelling to Asia a lot on business. One day on his return, I found a pair of undershorts in his luggage that weren't his. He said that the hotel laundry must have made a mistake but at the time I didn't believe him. We gradually just ended up mistrusting each other and then quarrelling all the time. He wouldn't change job so in the end our relationship just disintegrated. Anyway … did you find another boyfriend after me?"

"Yes of course, actually I think it was only a few months after you started going out with Colin," answers Gary, "we're very happy together :-)."

"And are you monogamous?"

"Oh you know me," laughs Gary, "I wouldn't commit to that on principle, but in fact I can't remember when I had sex with a guy who wasn't my boyfriend! I guess I just got bored of all that ages ago. Of course my boyfriend thinks the same way as I do, he agrees that it's the positive, caring commitments that we make to each other that are much more important than that old monogamy issue! Anyway, who are you with now?"

"Well, actually," says Patrick slowly, trying to find the words, "since Colin I've been single :-(."

"Awww, sorry to hear that mate," replies Gary, "Look, I've got to dash now, but you must come round for supper with us sometime :-)?"

"Yes. OK. I suppose …," says Patrick looking a bit uncertain, "what's your cell phone number, I'll give you a call soon?"

But although Gary gives Patrick his number, for some reason Patrick never calls him.